They say one cannot poison a werewolf? Am I werewolf enough?
Later— what seemed like a long time, Loopy opened his one, good eye again. He blinked hard. His heart caught in his throat and he fought for breath: He was in a cage. Never, never before had this happened. Not even at the Institute,.. Not even when they captured him did they put him in a cage. Oh, he had seen many of his brother-beasts in cages, and felt their pain-- the bitter rotting in their hearts that comes from captivity-- but this was different. This was him. The poison in him was suppressing the Wyld Thing, his Rage was elsewhere. He felt only fear.
The floor of the cage was concrete, and on the floor was straw. About the cage was a tent of red and white stripes, and the floor smelled of feces and urine and popcorn, and homids. It also smelled of Nadia. He struggled to make his body shift up, to form hands of his paws, fingers of his pads. He struggled to the edge of the cage and took hold of the bars. Something in them leapt out and gripped his spirit, and took it from him. He slumped against them, his strength gone. He moaned inwardly, "Impossible.. These are only metal. I have torn metal before, how..?" His finger slithered along the metal's edge and there he found words. Struggling against his animal mind which knew nothing of letters or words, he turned his head sideways and read: P-E-N-T-E-X.
Pentex, it means Five.
So?
"Aha," a deep, melodious voice said. The warmth and appreciation of it filled the tent, and wrapped about Loopy's frozen heart like a blanket, "I see you are awake, Pretty One. Welcome, to Harker's Carnival of Fear." Its speaker was a tall, beautiful homid male with a yellow mane, wearing colorful clothes and carrying a silver-headed stick. His eyes burned like green fire, but a sweet fire in a wilderness of ice and snow.
"Wh-" Loopy struggled to say. His mouth was snout, and his tongue limp, long and lifeless. The words would not come, yet this strange man knew what he was going to say, and it seemed, spoke the garou tongue, as well.
"Where?" he said playfully. "What? Who perhaps?" Then he smiled, but his smile then faded, and it was replaced by a hardness, a bitterness that stung Loopy and he shrank from it. "Who sent you, little wag?"
"Sent..?" Loopy managed to gurgle. "No .. No.." he licked his black lips and shook his head. "Whasss wrong wif me?" he moaned.
"Poison, little wag. A little touch of this, a little touch of that. Lethal in mere second, at a fraction of a dose, .. for a human," and then his smile returned, "..but then, you're not, are you?"
"Woof," Loopy said. It was meant to be 'wolf.'
The man smiled again. "Answer me."
"Wh.. Will I die?" Loopy asked, plaintively, a touch of a canine whine trailing off his voice.
"Oh no," the man chuckled. Loopy marvelled that he could take pleasure in another's pain, but then he remembered, everyone does. "Your shape-shifter metabolism is only having trouble with the 2% silver nitrate in there. The morphine and nicodine and strychnine, no doubt, are already purged." Loopy blinked. Big words. He knew only they meant death. "You lycanthropes are notoriously hard to kill. This was only meant to slow you down so I could have a look at you, and uh.." he said, kneeling and touching Loopy's thigh. "I do like what I see."
Loopy recoiled from the man's cool touch, even though he wanted to be touched, and due to his stupor, he succeeded only in ignominously sliding off his back paws and landing on his side. He moaned. Yet, the homid was right. Already his head was beginning to clear. He felt something shift on his left side. Something that hurt. What was it? He felt at it, and found a terrible, distended vein pulsing madly just under his fur. He reviled from it, disgusted.
"Tell me what I asked," the man said, softer, but still firm.
Loopy had no wish to disobey, the homid had a commanding presence. "No one, master.."
"Master?" the man said, with an amused smile. "Do you mock me?"
"Please," Loopy said. "No.. don't hurt me. It is the truth. I know only the truth." Then, suddenly, he convulsed, and screamed. His body made a terrible snapping sound as he writhed, and a huge bubble rose suddenly to his skin and burst, spraying blood and pus all over the floor. When it was done, he lay still. The man stepped back to avoid the wave, then stirred the discharge with his cane-end. He chuckled.
"You see? Silver nitrate, morphine, and strychnine."
Loopy stared at the puddle of undigested chemicals mixed with his own precious blood and other fluids. He touched the spot. Already fur was growing in over a bald patch where the flesh had sealed over moments after the bubble had burst.
"We've had a werewolf in our 'care' before, so we know your body."
"Nadia," Loopy said, and the man's eyes widened. Loopy looked at the puddle, amazed at what his body could do. "Please," he said, staring at it in wide-eyed fascination. "Tell me how I --"
The man's eyes slitted. Was this wag toying with him? Could he be so naive? Was this some cunning ploy? A smile crossed his features. This beast was perfect. Like the first. "How you did that? As you wish - you changed."
"Changed?" Loopy said, and struggled to think. "Shape-shifted?"
"Yes," the man said. "Your body is not like mine.. it changes. That is how you recover from injury. Your body changes back to an unharmed state. It is the same with this poison. Your body collected it, and expunged it by shaping itself around it."
"But the silver -- " Loopy said. He had felt the touch of silver twice in his life, and both times it hurt.
"Oh, only a little," the man said. "Now, I have answered your question, and I can answer more, but first, you must tell me. Who sent you?"
"Please, sir. You are smart, you must know no one sent me. The vampires don't even know I am here. I .. admit I tried to wreck your cage, when I realized it was the one that you had kept Nadia in, but I .. I am .."
"Impulsive? Your kind always are."
"My kind?" Loopy said. "Are there truly others?"
The man looked puzzled. "You have met Nadia. She is a lycanthrope like you."
"No,.. not like me. She is like the vampires. She has no heart, no soul.."
"What vampires?" the man said, fascinated.
Loopy saw the look in him of the Settite and he shut up. Closing his mouth was difficult, for he had many questions, and wanted to speak with the homid, to please him, but he feared he would place them in greater danger with his wagging tongue.
"You are reneging on our bargain, little wag -- I answered your questions."
Loopy squirmed. "My friends, they are vampires."
"Why are you not with other shape-shifters?"
Loopy began to cry. All of it, the hopelessness, the worthlessness of being what he was and where he was suddenly gripped him and he wept. It was impossible for him to stop it, too much of his animal side was fore, and he would not even had it not been.
The homid knelt then, and took the werewolf's furry hand and held it tightly. It was not his nature to be so, but Loopy did not know this. The homid was a cruel man, a heartless man, but the sight of this great beast, this image of murderous fury, reduced to tears and helpless was pitiful. He was moved to comfort the werewolf, and he asked him, "What makes you so unhappy?"
Loopy wept like a child, and knew it was shameful. Wolves do not shed tears, they howl, but he was hurt, hurt in his heart and he could not bear it. "Oh, sir," he sobbed, trying to stop enough to speak, "I am ashamed to be so weak."
Again, the man blinked, amazed. Who was this strange, unusual werewolf? Where was his bristling rage? His savage will? Where was the posturing, snarling monster who would pound his chest and take on the world and shout, "I will not submit?" He looked at Loopy's one, icy-blue eye, moist and dripping, and knew it was not here. Here there was but one animal, a small, wounded, terrified animal that had known only pain and abuse, and who even then, could not show bitterness or anger. He felt the monster's pain, and surprised himself.
"Come come, now," the man said. "What hurts so?"
"My grampa!" Loopy bawled, and the man recoiled a bit as the shape-shifter set in again to crying. "He hates me! He hurts me!" The man then withdrew his hand quickly and deflty as Loopy reflexively clutched it shut, the way a man who feeds baby tigers moves just out from under their tiny claws when they play-paw.
"Does he beat you?" the homid said, and his mind was thrown back to all those nights when he had beat Nadia, and he was bent to the other side. "What did you do?"
"I came here,.. I came to find Nadia," Loopy said, his one good eye begging for the man to validate him.
"He beat you for that?"
"He hasn't.." Loopy began, as if to say that Grampa had never hurt him, but he could not lie, and the homid knew it immediately. "He hates me for it. He calls me fool."
The homid was confused. "It seems things have changed. Once, long ago, I caged another werewolf. A bitch, and she was not like you. She struggled against the bars every moment that she lived, and her strength seemed infinite. Not once did she give in to me, no matter how I-" and he hesitated. This werewolf was so pliable, so malleable, he did not want to spoil a good thing by a poor choice of words, "-pressured her. In a way, I respected that. I think I still do. But I do know that she told me others would come, to get her, '..for the Changing Breed will not suffer one of their kind to be shackled.'"
"They came? They helped her?"
"I do not know. One day she was gone. To this day, I do not how how or who."
"Perhaps they slew her," Loopy said, bitterly. "That seems to be everybody's answer to everything."
"There you go again," the man said, almost snapping, but not angrily. "Do not hint to me, little wag. I can bear to hear. I can hear that you are in pain, but you will not tell me why. Where are you hurt? Why are you hurt? Perhaps-" and inwardly he smiled, "-I can help."
"No one can help me," Loopy said, and unconsciously shifted to homid, the weakest of his shapes. "I am sick in my soul, and ill in my heart. I am at home nowhere. I do not belong. This world is a cold place, and it seems I have no part in it. I am not strong enough, I am not wise enough."
"If your friends are vampires, then you would think that."
"The warmest 'person' I know is a vampire!" Loopy snarled suddenly, momentarily defiant, surprising the man, .. and reminding him that the beast was there deep inside, even if it was vulnerable now. "But most people, and these are humans, and vampires, and werewolves alike, are so .. empty. They have no souls, no courage, no .. spirit, it seems to me. I feel the world is flat. They all think, and do not feel. The whole world does, and I who feel and do not think am not welcome here. I wish I could die. I wish your poison had finished me."
Again the man was surprised, but he was beginning to understand so his surprise was less. Where was the defiant, proud, lycanthrope he had seen in Nadia's Mother, the werewolf bitch, and that he had seen in Nadia later. Were they the exceptions, or was this strange, beautiful animal the exception? Thought coursed through his mind. He needed an act, and the public clamoured for a werewolf. Imagine, just imagine, what a willing beast could do. With Nadia it was always a struggle. Perhaps this strange one could be made to perform for free.
"No one sent you," the man said.
"No, please believe me," Loopy said, laying his forehead against the bars.
"Then no one will come looking for you?" the man said, and paused, tense, to spot any sign of the creature reacting to that obvious trap.
"No," Loopy said immediately, depressed. "They knew what I was doing, but not where I was going."
"Who?" the man said, ready to become angry if the boy lied.
"The vampires," Loopy said.
The man knelt again, and reached in the cage to stroke the boy's soft, tan face gently. The boy reacted like a dog, turning into the soft touch as if it were the first warmth or gentleness he had known in a long, long time. He closed his eyes and revelled in the simple sensuality of it, and the homid's eyes glowed a greedy green. Oh, thank you, said he inwardly to the world at large, for wounding this proud beast so deeply that my cruel touch can be taken as love. Thank you, said he, for this marvellous, wonderous gift. Never in my life could I earn such complete trust were his need not so desperate and his pain so deep. He was perfect.
"Sleep now," he said, "and tomorrow we shall talk about your new future. You will like it."
Loopy seemed to think that was impossible, but he shifted down immediately to wolf and settled against the cold floor and slept. He wasn't happy in the cage, but the tent was quiet and peaceful. It was like being dead, but there was someone kind to talk to, and that was enough for you. Loopy needed no more words with claws on them, no more lies, no more poisonous comments. He wanted the homid to keep him, and hide him, and protect him, and .. give him a future.
His eyes blinked open only once. The image of James Looks-Twice flashed across his mind's eye, that time he had taught the werewolf about computers, "You'll go far, Loopy. You'll go far." He, too, would be so ashamed that Loopy had become what he had. He had shamed James' good name. Loopy whined himself to sleep.
That night, he had a dream. It was a dark night, but the dark was warm. The stars were shining, and the whole world was alive. Alive for him. He-who-had-no-name took off against the wind, his four paws beating the ground like a steed, begging speed - Speed - SPEED! The world gave way beneath him, and fell away before him. He was lord of his world, Master of the Earth. He came to a halt, and sniffed the sweet nectar air as he stood on a high cliff with the white moon high in the sky. From there, he could see the entire valley, the whole world, everything spread out beneath it.
"I stood on the cliff last night," he told the others the next morning. "The moon was swollen and ripe and she smiled at me. I could see the entire valley, everything..! Green and Red and Blue and White everywhere."
The other wolves looked on with awe, but his rival snorted, and the elders shook their heads. "The world is not that big, little one. If you ran all night, as you say you did, you would have come back around the other side of the world to here. You could not run all night without resting."
"And stop talking all that rubbish about 'green' and 'red' and 'blue' -- Nonsense words you made up, you foolish dreamer!" the rival spat, his smokey coat whipped in the wind. "Snow is snow, it is not 'white', and leaves are leaves, they are not 'green.' When autumn comes they wither and fall, but there is no other change. I think the cold has addled your mind."
"But they DO!" he-who-had-no-name insisted. "Just because you cannot see it does not mean it is not there! I have seen it, and I have run all night. You say these things cannot be, but I say they can, because I have done them."
The other wolves dispersed. The rival was stronger in the pack, and one day, he would turn on the young one, and he-who-has-no-name knew that. Even the elders did not believe him. Surely they who were wise knew the difference between green and red? All but two of the wolves dispersed, and those two came to the young one and looked wide-eyed at him.
"Tell me more," said the pretty young female.
"Yes, and me," said the pretty young male. "And teach me what is 'green' and what is 'red.'"
"You believe me," he said to them.
"I know what you say is the truth," the female said. "I once saw an entire herd of snow deer in the forest, and the elders say that they never come this far north, but I know they do, because I have seen it, and although I cannot see that a leaf is green, I know that does not mean it cannot be green."
"And I believe," the male said, "that you could run all night, if you put your mind to it. I do not think I could do it, but I do not think the elders are right that the world is the forest and the forest is the world, because if this is so, where does the moon sleep? Where do the birds go when the world is white? I think there must be more than what we know, and I think you are going there."
"You do?"
"We both do," the pretty female said, sweet moist love in both her eyes. "And we want to go there with you."
He-who-had-no-name looked up at the Moon, then, and felt her bounty and her love upon him, her Gift. He smiled up at her, and he thought to himself: "Yesterday I was a dreamer, Today I am a leader."
Lewis woke, fretfully. Happier times rang in his head, and brought bitterness back. His life as a wolf, his "childhood", seemed a deep memory, a fairy-tale told him by a cruel adult. Why had he ever gone away? Why? In the valley he was a God, a Great Wolf who spoke to the north wind and who drove off the evil homids. He was a dreamer, as the rival had said, a foolish dreamer. The valley had grown too small for him and his dreams, and he had stood up and entered the evil world of man, and folly of follies, taken those two who loved him dearest, to their deaths.
Men were in the cage, different men. He did not like their smell. They were dirty and scruffy, and something about them made his insides churn. They were sweeping and mopping, but he didn't bother with them. He was waiting for the night. One man stopped, and talked to his friend, something about nicks and blue jays, that made no sense. Then, he looked at Loopy, and a cruel gleam crossed his eyes. Loopy knew the look: The same look that the pelt-hunters had when they saw a small cub in the wood far from its mother, the same look the Settite had given him just before he had made Loopy betray his friends with his evil magic.
"Hey, pooch," the man said, and leaned over his mop. He made kissing noises.
"Charley," the other man said. "That's a wolf, don't tease it."
"Pft!" the man said, and said. "I ain't afraid of no wolves. Just big dogs, is all they are." He approached the cage. What was this game? Loopy asked himself. It was silly. The man was afraid, because he could smell his fear, so what was this dance? Couldn't his friend smell his fear, too? Sometimes, squirrels would stand on their hind legs and chastise the wolves in the forest, as if they knew no fear of them, but that was silly, and it was a game with a bad ending. Loopy could slay the man without a thought, without a care, why would he court death? Loopy wondered if perhaps he hurt inside, too, deep inside, and wanted to die. Loopy knew what that felt that.
"Hey, pooch," the man said, poking the mop at Loopy like a weapon. Loopy was up on his feet immediately, wary.
"Charley, don't," the other man said. "H-He don't like it."
"Aint no damn wolf," the man said, defiant, but trembling. "Just a big husky is all. Gawd-damn SAM- ARK-AN!" he said, and swung the mop at the cage. Loopy dodged as the mop struck the bars and they sang. Loopy knew the other man was wiser, and kinder, but this first one was mocking his own fear. What did this game prove? What was the need to prove? To prove he could run all night and not be tired? The man wanted to prove he wasn't afraid of a wolf, to prove to his elders.
Silly man, if he hadn't made up the story, he wouldn't have to prove. Yet, Loopy had run all night, and they didn't believe him. Was that the way? What was true was disbelieved, and what was not was? It seemed to make sense. The mop flew again, making the bars sing. But the mop was just a mop, and the cage was sturdy. Loopy had nothing to fear, and so did not.
"Hey, pooch, you big tough doggy, eh? You a werewolf like that skinny kid, eh? C'mon, show us your big, bad, wolf face, too, huh?" The man was moving the stick-end of the mop between the bars. Loopy knew now he meant to hurt him, and he grew tense.
"Charley, cut it out.."
Suddenly, Loopy took the mop in his jaws and gave it a swift yank. The man, too slow to react, was carried forward into the cage with a resounding bang, and when he came to his senses, Loopy was stood, one paw on each of the man's arms, his snout right at the man's face. Had he wished to, he could have removed that face, but he had not. Being homid, this meant nothing to the man, and he struggled to squirm away. Loopy's lesson was wasted. Not only did the man not see that he could have died, he also didn't realize that his feeble attempt to escape would have meant his death, had Loopy been a more unkind beast. When he felt the man had known fear long enough, he released his arms and let the man squirm free. The man scurried back in terror and only after he was a good distance away did he stand. Sweating now, reeking of terror, he stuck an offensive finger at Loopy. "I'll GET you for that, you dumb MUTT!"
Loopy stared at him, calmly. Naturally, the man had learned nothing. More pretty danse, more false bravery. He was a coward. Loopy knew the signs. He put his paw on the mop and slid it through the bars across the concrete floor to the man's feet, and then watched him run. Why if he was a coward, did he strut and pretend to be a brave man? Loopy was weak, and he knew it, and he told it so,.. Why do homids always have to lie? Is it part of being homid? Wolves run, and howl, and homids lie.
That night, Loopy was awake when the moon rose. He felt it rise. He felt the surge in his veins as the homid part of him awoke, and he was able to change. He did. He changed to that form between wolf and man, and relished the ecstasy of the Change. Every tiny bit of him was alive when he changed, and they were all lit up like bright stars.
He heard a soft clapping, then, and turned. Again, the green-eyed man had come. There was something about him Loopy did not like, and then he remembered he had imprisoned a werewolf before. Though it made Loopy mad to think of it, right now, he wanted to be nowhere else.
"Your true face," the man said, walking to the front of the cage. He turned and looked over his shoulder, "..and the moon. So some part of those old fables are true, then?"
"I have no true face," Loopy said. "I was born a wolf, and can make myself a man, but I am neither."
"You are both," the man said, pinching his fingers in front of him. "You do not see your uniqueness, do you? How I envy you. I am a man, a mammal, and there are over 500 species of mammals; and then tens of thousands of species of reptile; and then billions of species of simpler life-forms, but among all of them, only you and your kind, are two. I can be unique among men, but you are unique among all the life on this planet, because you change. I envy you that. You are two species, all in one, wolf and man, combining the best of both."
"I am also unique among my kind," Loopy said. "They all say that."
"Then there is but one like you," the man said. "How marvellous then to have you here."
"What are you going to do to me?" Loopy said, and saw then that he had hurt the man. Immediately, he was sorry, and he reached out. The man took his hands through the bars, and Loopy said, shamefully, "I am sorry."
"They hurt you. You told me. Even a man cannot return love for pain."
"I try to. I .. could love, once.. but they are gone. They died because of me."
"Oh," the man said, in a 'tsk' "What have you been through? You sound as though you carry all the weight of the world on your shoulders."
"Not the world, sir, the world is so big. I carry only my own pain, and it is too much."
"Pain goes away, little one. I will teach you. Pain goes away but joy remains. Listen," he said, releasing Loopy's hands and walking to the curtain. "The moon is full, and the nearby river is alive with frogs, listen. Out there, beyond the river, in the city, are human hearts, beating, do you feel them?"
Loopy tried to hear. He believed he could. "They are excited."
"Yes!" the man said, his eyes glittering. "Those hearts are awake tonight because of one thing.. You."
Loopy turned away in frank disbelief. He scoffed, and laughed a hollow laugh.
"No, it is true. The people who live here in this place, on this world in fact, live in a dull, colorless world. It is drab, it is flat, there is no life, there is no spirit." Loopy thought the words sounded familiar. "But tonight, they are going to see.. something.. that is going to fill their hearts with wonder, and make them believe that the world is not so drab, nor so empty as they thought, to make them believe that perhaps, outside of the cozy, stagnant prison they have placed themselves in, there is something more."
"How can I do all that?" Loopy said.
"Because you can change, boy," the man said. "Be-"
"Please don't call me 'boy'," Loopy said, quickly. "Grampa called me boy when he hated me. My name is Loopy."
"Loopy?" the man said. "Who gave you that name?"
"The man who found me, who taught me to be human."
"Why would you want to be human, dear boy?" the man said, and he was frank. "You are nothing like a human, nor should you want to be. To be who you are is all you need to be."
"But the vampires--"
"They lied to you, my friend," he said. "They were using you. They abused you and called you names and kept you down so you would do what they want. I have seen it before. What name shall I call you?"
"Name?" Loopy said. "I am Loopy."
"Loopy is a word that means 'Insane' -- it is a mockery-name. You deserve no such scorn. What would you have me call you?"
"Loopy is all I've ever known."
"Then you are indeed a prisoner, no matter where you go? How can you expect to have any self-image? Any feeling of self-worth, with a name like that? I have a name, it is Johnathan Harker, and when I say it, I feel better, for I know who I am. It does not mean anything, except me. You must have such a name."
"I did sometimes go by Lewis P. Looks-Twice.."
"Lewis P.," the man said, and his eyes darted side to side. "Lou P. Loopy."
"Yes," Loopy said.
"And Looks-Twice? An indian name?"
"The man who found me had that name."
"To have no name to call your own is a terrible thing, my friend, well, no matter. I shall find you a name. Now, I have a dozen wide-eyed people who have come from far and wide to see you -- no one but you -- do what you do. I am asking you to go and perform for them, for me. Will you do it?"
"Of course, I like to perform," Loopy said, eagerly, and the man smiled inwardly again. All his tricks, all his methods, all his guile and cunning, he needed none of these with this one. He was so naive, so innocent it took no effort to gain his compliance. The simplest scratch on the ear would suffice, and it was delicious. The man, Harker, found himself having strange thoughts: He entertained the idea of showering this star beast with love and affection, with gifts and attention, lavish luxury, just to see the beast child-like sweet reaction of joy at it all, but these thoughts were foreign to him..? He cared not for the werewolf.. did he?
Some smelly men in gaudy costumes came in, then, and covered Loopy with a sheet. Harker held the edge and said to Loopy, "Start by being a man, and wear this," he said, putting a collar through the bars with a small chain-leash on the end.
"A collar?" Loopy said, dubiously.
"It is for show only," the man said, reassuringly, and Loopy did as he was told. Harker covered the cage and then prepared his voice. He would make the most of this. For six nights he had been without his star attraction, and he was eager to regain the crowds that a live werewolf could pull in. The new one was raw, he would have to be taught the act, but Harker had a feeling he would take to it like an avid student, all for the due of a scratch behind the ear. "Thank you, cruel world, for throwing me yet another lost soul," he said.
"Do you really think we should have left it so long?" Eglantyne said as they walked towards the circus, three figures in the dark, and of the dark. Each of them was an icy shadow of a human being, each long dead, but living still.
"We was busy," Johnny said. "C'mon, let's go get him out of there."
They walked around the fair, and immediately they noticed the posters. They read:
"SEE THE AMAZING SHOROKAN, HALF-MAN, HALF-BEAST!
"SEE HIM CHANGE BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES!"
And on the poster, an amazingly ferocious-looking picture of a blonde werewolf.
"Is that supposed to be Loopy?" Jennings sniggered, from a shadow nearby. Marissa glanced, but there was nothing there.
"Yup," Marissa said. "Look, he's only got one eye. Well, I guess we better go bail him out again."
As they walked away, a young girl who until moment ago had been hidden away in a nearby shadow, darted away from the wall to bring the news to her master: The vampires had come. No sooner had she left than another shadow detached itself from the darkness and sailed off after her.
In the distance, a voice said, "What's 'shorokan' mean anyway?" and another voice replied, "I think it's indian or japanese." Another voice, this one male, commented, "Prolly means 'Big Furry Thing.'"
"One thing puzzles me, though," Harker said. "With Nadia, I had to return a lot of ticket-money because people who had seen the show would claim they hadn't, or else they'd say wierd things that made no sense, like 'did you think a trained gorilla was going to fool me'? You, however, they can see, and they remember, and they come back for more."
"Mm," Lewis said, "You'll have to thank Paracelsus for that."
"Paracelsus.. the renaissance inventor? Why?"
Lewis paused. "I don't really remember."
Suddenly, a girl in a wildly-painted clown costume burst in. "They're here!" she blurted.
"What?" Harker said, angrily.
"It is true, master!" the girl said, the wierd circles and stars painted on her face making her look more comical than concerned. "They walked as the dead."
Harker turned to Lewis, who was even now preparing himself in front of the mirror. "Can it be them?"
"If it is, I will feel their unnaturalness-," Lewis said. "When they come near."
"This is bad, Lewis," Harker said. "I want no trouble. You swore you would protect me."
"I will, master," Lewis said, moving off the stool and kneeling to hug Harker's legs like a loyal dog. Harker stiffened and controlled his fear at having a large, blonde, werewolf clutched two of his most precious limbs. "I swore."
"You must go on, then. Freda, get Alan and Tweed -- get the guns. I'll have these man-bats, too, by God, or I'll see them dead, or whatever I can do. They'll not take a second werewolf from me. Lewis, prepare yourself!"
Lewis moved back to the mirror, and shifted down. Again, he looked like a man. A man with one good eye. He sat momentarily on the stool, touching the costume that moved with him when he changed, looked at the face in the mirror. His face went from blank to confused, and he stared at himself. What was bothering him? Harker would try to kill the vampires. So..? They meant nothing but pain and agony, they would take him from this world of warmth and laughter, of stardom and fame. They would make him nothing again, they would torture and torment him again. Why shouldn't he see them dead? They were dead already. What did he care? He touched the small tear escaping his one, good eye and studied it, puzzled. Where had it come from?
The wind caught the tent flap and something broke away from it, snickering in sheer delight.
Eglantyne, Johnny and Marissa were taking their seats in the balcony surrounding the charnel-pit full of fake meat and straw that was supposed to be the den of Shorokan. Eglantyne was disgusted, as disgusted as she could be. Caged like an animal. But.. how could they cage him? A werewolf can go where it wants..?
Suddenly, there were four of them, and the newcomer, barely a shadow himself, smiled an evil toothy grin as he recounted. "Oh, what a good idea it was to come here tonight. Loopy is not only a willing prisoner here, and not only are they going to try and kill us or cage us too, but Loopy is even going to help them do it." A warm feeling sprouted in his belly at the betrayal. He had known it all along.
"I don't believe you," Johnny said, angry at the half-shadow. "Loopy wouldn't betray us."
"Oh, of course, don't believe me, I'm only one of your own kind!" Jennings snapped. "When the bullets start to fly and I'm far away, remember this: I told you so!"
The lights dimmed. "Shut up, you two," Eglantyne hissed. "I want to see this."
Harker appeared below, lit by a spotlight.
"Ladies, and Gentlemen," he said. "Since time immemorial man has spoke legends of men who were beasts, and beasts who were men. From the earliest tales told in the shadows of the light of a cave fire, we have given them form and name, and feared them: Monsters. We had good reason to. They are the predators in our world, and we were the cattle. What do you think..? That legends that have persisted throughout the entire world for all of recorded history and then some, from every culture and race upon the earth, had no basis in fact? I'm sure you did. You had to. How else could you go to school, work every day, come home and sleep in your bed, safe in the knowledge that you were the top of the food chain. Well, ladies and gentlemen, tonight you have paid me to yank that rug out from under you, and tonight I shall."
"I dunno about you," Marissa whispered, "But he's givin' me the freakin willies.."
"Shhh!" Eglantyne said. With her vampire eyes she tried to pierce the darkness all around the barker. The damn light was too bright, but she thought she could make out something moving behind him. In a moment, it was academic.
"In his homeland, he was a King. He is brought here in chains, for your amusement. May I present, Shorokan!"
The lights suddenly went up revealing Loopy, ragged, dressed in tatters, his hair long like a savage, his one blue eye flashing defiance at his captor, a heavy mock-silver collar clamped around his neck. Marissa restrained Johnny, and Johnny in turn, Eglantyne. Jennings smiled a wicked grin, he was enjoying this. The next would be even better.
Harker bowed to the blonde youth, mocking him, and cooed, "Your highness..." and then he cracked a whip. Shorokan stared up defiant, never wavering. "Oh, are we going to be difficult tonight, your highness? Show the good people the pretty mark of Cain. Change!"
Loopy snarled at him, angrily. Harker cracked the whip again, louder. "Change!"
Loopy darted suddenly at the whip, and Harker leapt back, a scant few inches between him and the angry youth who had moved like lightning. Only the collar restrained him, and he chafed against it. Harker staggered back, and yelled at the crowd. "He deceives you, ladies and gentlemen. These beasts wear human form, but they know no more of civilization than a tiger." The music began to pound in the background. Lewis began to sway, convulse. The vampires suddenly realized they were in peril, and averted their eyes, for Kindred cannot look upon the face of the Living Beast and not fear.
Marissa looked on, though, fascinated. Inwardly, Johnny puzzled over it. Vampires, it is said, fear the cross for it is a symbol of the One True Light while they are creatures of the dark. Do they, then, fear the werewolf because he is all that they struggle against in themselves, and all that they have lost in themselves?
Corruscating multi-colored lights began to flash across the scene, making the real seem unreal, the actual Change a special effect. Harker's face seemed to change with each new hue, but in fact it was immobile, staring into Loopy's eye. With each light, Loopy's features did change, they rose and melted, merged and expanded. To the beat of the music, Loopy entire body began to swell and grow. Fur sprouted over his body in yellow crests like waves breaking on a beach, and a terrible deep growling erupted from his throat taking over the ragged gasps of human breath.
Eglantyne tugged at her collar. A sweat was beading out across her forehead and her eyes and fangs were showing, even just knowing the garou was changing was almost more than she could bear. Johnny rubbed his hand against his mouth, and the sharp fangs bit the flesh. Jennings was nowhere to be seen.
Loopy reared up from his fetal crouch, unfolding to his magnificent 7-foot height of fur and fury and then roared at the crowd, snarling and foaming in true werewolf fashion. With the roar, both Johnny and Eglantyne knew they could bear no more, yet, a morbid fascination forced their eyes to the pit and the stage, where the striking figure of the huge, blonde shape-shifter had every eye riveted. He now stood, a beast the likes of which no man had ever seen and lived, and towered over the man, Harker, who looked like a mere sparrow staring at a cobra. Loopy glared at him, and his hand flashed, and the whip was gone. He flexed and tore and the collar was so much debris skittering across the floor, and then he crouched, and advanced on the man. Eglantyne began to stand, her claws biting into the seat, and Marissa wondered for a moment if she meant to leap at Harker, or at Loopy.
The crowd was stunned, too stunned to panic, and then, just as the first one opened her mouth to scream, Loopy suddenly moved forward and gently and lovingly licked the face of the man called Harker. The tension broke like the crescendo of a gong, and the crowd stared on with gasps of awe. Harker tousled the hair of the beast's head as it bent to his feet, and he said, "Forgive the melodrama, ladies and gentlemen. The beast is quite tame."
"Tame..mrrr," Johnny said.
"Eh," Marissa said in his ear. "What's it to you, eh?"
"Yeah," another voice that came from nowhere added.
"Either shut that skunk up or get him out of here," Elgantyne snarled.
Harker produced a whip, a chair, and a flaming hoop, and had Loopy perform the usual series of animal tricks - jumping through flaming hoops, standing on one arm like a trained bear, juggling knives and balancing the way no human could. The highlight was when he stood on a high-wire, balancing three women on a platform in his teeth. The audience cheered with each new feat, but Harker had saved the best for last. Cracking his whip again and bringing Loopy to heel, two clowns rushed out and placed two green and purple candy-striped ramps at opposite ends of the pit, and two assistants handed harker two hoops with double-sided mirrors in them. Harker displayed the mirrors to the audience, proved they were solid with his hand, and then set them up at the ends of the ramp, and called for a hush.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, .. silence please. Do not disturb the Beast. Now, watch, as it defies all the laws we understand." No further explanation was necessary, it was plain what trajectory the beast would follow— except— to reach the other ramp, it would have to pass through two mirrors and Harker himself. The audience sat, spellbound.
Harker gestured at Loopy and cooed, "Come, Shorokan. Come to me." The werewolf shrank down to all fours, and steadied himself, and then with a great graceful motion he tore up the first ramp, and travelled between the two mirrors to come out the other side. Every face in the audience followed the motion even though the werewolf was invisible throughout his flight through the Umbra, and cheered as he emerged on the far side.
Harker then led Loopy to the center of the cage as attendants removed the props, and gently stroked his back in a slow, deliberate fashion. The werewolf softened under the touch, and sat, and re-took his human form. Harker then leaned over in a deliberate move and pulled over a stool, whereupon he sat. He stroked Loopy's face and then a clown-girl handed him a guitar. He positioned his fingers, and then glanced at Loopy, and he began to play a slow, sad tune.
The werewolf closed his eye, opened his mouth, and he began to sing.
"If I .. expected love when first we kissed
Blame it on my youth.
If only just for you... I did exist
Blame it on my youth.
I believed in everything .. like a child of three.
You .. meant more than anything
All .. the world .. to me.."
Tears began to well in eyes about the stadium, and Marissa herself was moved, because she knew who Loopy was singing to, and she felt his pain. Eglantyne sat, rapt, in awe of the werewolf's sweet song, and Jennings sneered, "Typical Toreador, fascinated by anything pretty.."
"So why aren't you?" Johnny said back, and Jennings turned away, like a man caught in a lie.
"If you were on my mind.. both night and day
Blame it on my youth.
If I forgot to eat, and sleep and play
Blame it on my youth.
If I cried a little when first I learned the truth...
Please, don't blame it on my heart
Ple-ease don't blame it on my heart
Please, don't blame it on my heart
Blame it on my youth.."
When the song was over, Harker stood and petted Loopy again, and said, "A great big round of appreciation for our star Shorokan, Ladies and Gentlemen!" The audience applauded, and Loopy waved a paw, and then was carted off in a cage much like a trapped lion.
After the show, the vampires gathered outside the tent. "This sucks," Johnny said. "On display like a trained poodle. This really bites." He missed the implicit pun in what he said. Marissa, for once, remained utterly silent about the fact that she had never seen Loopy so happy in all his life, and certainly not recently.
"Shhh, listen," Eglantyne said, and put her ear to the tent. "What's happening now. Jennings, go look."
A "hmpf" filtered out of the breeze, and Jennings moved from the darkness outside the tent to a shadow in the balcony within the tent. It was minutes after the show, and Loopy was back in the pit, in his cage, though the door was open. People had lined up in droves with their children who were desperate to pet the magnificent creature. The odd thing was, the parents seemed eager too, and Jennings burned with jealousy. What had happened to the werewolf's talk of a Veil and the Delirium, why weren't they running in terror of the wretched beast? Or could he turn it on and off at will, yet another Lupine trick? Jennings hated him for it. He certainly couldn't turn off his own "Delirium" when he wanted to.
"Wonderful show," a young mother with a 'Save the Whales' T-Shirt said. "Amazing. Nothing at all like I expected. Such a talented actor you have, and what clever makeup!" she smiled at the furry humanoid in the cage, who was wearing a carnival T-shirt and sipping tea, blissfully oblivious to the fact that he wasn't in makeup at all. "But where's that marvellous trained dog.. the one you switch with?"
"Ah, well," Harker said. "Normally, a magician never reveals his secrets, but I think you'd understand that the show takes a lot out of our animal performers, and they are often hungry after." He then bent to the child and indicated Loopy. "You believe in Shorokan, don't you, sonny?"
The boy gazed wide-eyed at the werewolf, not entirely sure of the safety of his mother's arms.
"Do you think he's a real werewolf?" Harker whispered, and the mother smiled indulgently.
The boy nodded dumbstruck. Harker pointed to Loopy and said, "Go ahead. You can pet him if you like. He won't hurt you." The mother surpressed a chuckle. Eyes twinkling with wonder, the boy approached what he and Harker (but no one else) knew was a real monster, afraid but curious. Gingerly, he reached out and touched Loopy's wolfish face, caressed the long, soft mane that fell from his head, and stroked the soft down in his ears. Loopy closed his eyes, and felt the joy of a child's open adoration. Jennings world contracted about the scene:
The boy's eyes were gleaming with a light the likes of which he had seen perhaps twice in all his years. The boy believed. In those two wide, blue pools stood reflected the mighty and resplendant Unicorn, a gateway to all lands as yet undiscovered by man, the twinkle of the stars men had once named gods. The light was gleaming outwards, from the heart of one, small boy whose imagination had been suddenly given wings upon which to fly. Loopy petted the small child's face. Wherever the child ran in his dreams thereafter, Shorokan would run alongside him, and bear him ever onward.
Jennings felt a small blood-tear congealing on his face. Loopy could touch the boy so deeply, as he touched them all, even Jennings himself. Jennings turned away. The knowledge of such hope was agony in the empty, dark hole that had once been his human soul.
He returned to the others.
"He's a prisoner. We have to get him out."
Harker pushed back the flap and entered the tent where Loopy slept. It was a lush tent with a huge pile of pillows that formed a bed. On the bed was a beautiful silver-furred husky and a blonde-tinted half-wolf, who rolled over and grew into a man when Harker entered.
"An excellent show," Harker said, pulling up a chair and tickling Loopy's chin. "We made a killing in receipts. In fact, it makes me think about taking you to a bigger audience." Loopy smiled, retrieving a satin kimono from the pile and throwing it over his shoulders. "Would you like that? We could be rich."
"Did you see the people's faces?" Loopy asked.
Suddenly, there was a whirl, and three dark figures full of menace had entered the room, surrounding Harker and Loopy. The husky sat bolt upright, but Loopy's touch calmed her before she could bark. Harker's green eyes darted from figure to figure. One looked like a scarecrow, one like a beautiful blonde woman, and one like a teenage boy, but all were pale, thin, and stood frozen in a way most inhuman. The woman, whose flesh was the color of ice in the half-light, spoke.
"Mr. Harker, .. I presume. You have my dog."
"Your.. dog?" Harker said.
"Let me kill him," Jennings said.
"Lewis..?" Harker said, a little unnerved, and then he yelled, "Willy--!"
Johnny suddenly leapt across the distance and bowled Harker off his chair. Though Harker was a much larger man, the young, pale figure seemed supercharged with strength, and in a moment it was obvious why when he lay pinning Harker down, hissing, and his fangs appeared.. Had Harker glanced into Johnny's eyes then he would have seen his rampaging bloodlust, but his eyes would not move from those two gleaming, sharp teeth inching towards his chest.
"A vampire.." Harker said, the first glimmers of virgin fear in his eyes. He felt sure he was about to die, but then, there was a blur of fur and Johnny hit the tent-canvas to Harker's far right, just to the left of Eglantyne, who moved aside. Johnny's body tore through and landed somewhere outside. Both Eglantyne and Jennings turned to face the huge, snarling Crinos that had leapt to Harker's defense, and Eglantyne looked shocked and surprised. Jennings' face wrinkled up and he hissed like a cornered cat.
"Loopy!" Eglantyne said, but Loopy's only reply was a growl whose meaning was plain.
From outside came the sound of hissing and snarling, and then gunshots, and Johnny came back through the tent wall in a red spray. He landed just to Loopy's left and the Crinos, unable to discern the difference between a fall and a pounce, leapt onto him. Johnny's chest was torn with bullets, and he was lying still, and only when the slavering werewolf's instincts registered no threat from the undead adolescent did something else in him stir. It was part sympathy, part recognition, but something reminded him of what all had been. His animal mind could only recall disjointed images, of Settites and of Sabbat, but of one thing the monster was sure: This dead thing had been at his side, not with his enemies.
Eglantyne restrained Jennings with great effort, "You fool..! He'll tear you to pieces."
Two armed men entered the tent, and shouted, "Boss..!"
The werewolf was on them and through them before they could even realize what had occurred. Loopy's animal side had reacted to the danger and taken over, now anything making a threatening move was a target. Harker rolled over onto his front, and looked out the tent-flap. He did not see what became of his men, nor did he care to know, but his primary concern was for his werewolf. What if the men should accidentally kill it? He got up to go look, and that's when a strong, slim, white hand clamped onto his shirt and a lithe, blonde, girl stepped into his inside and hefted him into the air.
"You stole my dog, you rat-bastard!"
She bore her fangs and hissed and spat at him. Harker looked at her, frightened, but then that part of him that dared to cage two werewolves took over and he stared down into the vampire's eyes with renewed resolve. "He is not your 'dog' anymore. He is my werewolf now."
"'Your' werewolf is currently tearing up your henchmen, fool," Jennings snarled, barely holding onto his control. "He's a rampaging beast."
"If so, no worry," Harker said, chillingly cool. "Men are replaceable. He is not. I can always find more imbeciles willing to tote a gun and kill people, but to find a werewolf, let alone one such as this -- Ah," he said. Outside, the noises had stopped, but none of them knew if it was because Loopy was 'done' or because they had all moved off.
"Jennings, go see," Eglantyne said, not releasing Harker.
"'Jennings, go see'" Jennings muttered, and slithered out of the tent.
"He was your 'dog', eh? So you are the one who hurt him and abused him so badly."
Eglantyne's face dropped, her snarl giving way to a shocked and hurt look. "What?"
"Oh, come now. We're both grown-ups. Our methods differ, is all. I gain Loopy's assistance by luxury and affection. He does anything for a mere pat on the head and the occasional 'good boy.' His needs are simple, and I pander to them with ease and with pleasure. The only way this proud Beast could be this way is if you had used abuse and pain to get him to obey you. I applaud you your will. Dominating a werewolf is no easy task, I should think, even for a vampire.
"I didn't hurt Loopy," Eglantyne insisted. "It was --" but it was too late. The thought that Loopy's connection to the vampires had caused him great pain made Eglantyne feel very guilty, and it had the ring of truth. She could not shake the image of him first looking at her with only one eye, because he had tried to rescue the vampire prince's daughter. Her prince, her problem, not his. Her friendship had cost him an eye, and she knew, his happiness. It was more than she could bear. Her grip on Harker slithered down, and his feet touched ground.
"Give him to me," Harker said. "He is happy here. You and your friends may go, unharmed."
"We're not leaving without Loopy," Eglantyne said, but her voice was broken like her will.
"Why not?" Jennings' voice said from some shadow or other. "Oh, please...?"
"Yes, listen to your companion. Leave the werewolf here. I will treat him well, so very well. He will have the love and adoration of millions. He will be a star, and live in beauty and comfort, and have all he could want."
"Yeah, all but his freedom," Johnny groaned, getting up. "You've hypnotized him or something. What are you, a Ventrue or something."
"Shut up, you idiot!" Jennings said. "What if he's human!?"
Johnny snarled at Jennings, and he shrank back into shadow.
Eglantyne was frozen, unsure what to do. What the man said was true. She could not bring herself to believe it, but it made sense. What was next for Loopy? Ghouled by a Settite? The loss of an arm, or the rest of his face? Destruction at the hands of his own kind for associating with the vampires in the first place? None of the vampires had taken the risks he had in the name of friendship. Eglantyne felt she didn't deserve her lupine friend, and the thought saddened her greatly.
"Harker?" came a voice at the tent door. Loopy had returned. His kimoro was in tatters, partly from his change, and partly from bullets that had left no mark on his fine, young flesh. The vampires who called him friend stared at his flesh, glowing with health and life as it heaved with his ragged breaths, and struggled to deny their lust to take it from him. Eglantyne reflexively released the man, and the room filled with a sudden tension as the werewolf stepped into the room. His eyes flickered as he looked the three ghoulish figures over, almost as if he could not recognize them, but could not shake the feeling he had seen them before.
"Loopy.." Eglantyne said. "Do you want to stay here, with this man?"
"Do not call me that," Loopy said. "I am the mighty Shorokan, not your lap-dog!"
The retort stung Eg, and her mouth would not close. Were they about to lose him?
"Hey, Lewis," Johnny said. "Don't tell me you actually want to live in a cage and be gawked at by these nobodies."
"It's a nice place," Jennings said, quietly.
"They aren't nobodies!" Loopy shot back. "They're real people with real lives, and they love me. They think I'm special! And I don't live in a cage, I live in this beautiful tent and sleep on these comfy pillows with this beautiful bitch.." he motioned towards the bed, but the bitch had (naturally) fled. Loopy hoped his point had not been missed, despite the technicality.
"We can get you pillows and a dog," Eglantyne protested. "But you'd be free."
"Lewis has told me of his so-called freedom with you vampires. I call his life with you a prison, vampiress.. Unable to walk free on the streets for fear of being leapt upon by one of your many enemies, unable to live in any one place unless it was the equivalent of Fort Knox (and then some), unable to sing, or have a dog, or see anyone, because anyone and everyone you come into contact with dies. Having to hide all the time, pretend all the time, never seeing another of his kind. Perhaps to a vampire, that's a life, but to a living being it's Purgatory."
"No," Eglantyne said, slowly. "I guess I don't call it much of a life, either."
"Yeah," Johnny said. "We have to live this way, but I guess Lewis doesn't. Guess we kinda got in the way of your happiness, there, guy. Sorry."
Loopy looked at the vampire boy, puzzled.
"Well," Jennings said. "That's that settled.. Can we go?"
"Oh, Jennings!" Eglantyne shouted. She then turned to Harker and said, "You did this. Turned him against us, poisoned his mind, took control of him."
"Yes, in a way I did," Harker said, and reached out to hug Loopy who moved into the Embrace like a wanted son. "I allowed Loopy to look at his life clearly, and see what association with your kind had brought him. As for control, I couldn't hypnotize him as you maybe could, but I found that love bound him to me more strongly than any leash."
Unwittingly, while he was destroying Eg with guilt, he had given Johnny an idea. Moving to the side, he maneuvered himself so that he was just behind Eg and near where Loopy was. Then, casually, he said, "Hey, Loopy.." and when the werewolf looked up he fixed him with his gaze and ordered him to, "Remember US?"
Lewis blinked, and Harker glanced at the vampire, angry. Johnny stepped in and said, "And you go to sleep!" and Harker's eyes fluttered and he fell over. Loopy went to catch him, settling him gently to the ground. Johnny patted the werewolf's back and said, "Did it work? Are you out of it?"
"Oh, he's always out of it," Jennings muttered.
"C'mon, dude.. don't you remember us..? Johnny Dangerously..?"
"And Egg?" Eglantyne said. They glanced at Jennings.
Jennings scowled at them, "Loopy always got my name right," he sneered.
"Never gave you a pet-name, you mean," Johnny said, back.
"Yes," Loopy then said, almost too softly to hear, as he looked at Harker. "I remember you."
"Is something wrong?" Eglantyne said.
"No," Loopy said, and said nothing more. Wordlessly, he gathered some clothes, his wyrm-scale necklace, and his eye-patch, put them on, and then walked out of the tent. The vampires, satisfied they had won, followed, and soon were leading him back to the car. Jennings and Johnny were bickering: "Remember: I told you so!" "Oh, shut up!"
Marissa, who until just now had been hiding a discrete distance away until the shooting was over, was now walking alongside Loopy. "You didn't bring anything with you," she said. "Your clothes, your dog. Did they pay you?"
"Yes," Loopy said, and Marissa knew he didn't mean money.
"Don't you want any of that stuff?" she further asked.
"It's not mine. I agreed to help Harker, to perform for him. Taking it would have been stealing, since I'm leaving him," and his voice was edged with bitterness. He was leaving behind a world of stardom, light, song and joy to return to a world of darkness and pain, to the world of the Dead.
"Well, here," she said, handing him a rolled-up poster.
He unrolled it slightly until the words, "SEE THE AMAZING SHOROKAN!" were visible. "What's this for?" he asked her, trying to hide the sadness in his voice.
"As a reminder," she said, taking his arm as they reached the car. "A keepsake of the one time in your life.. that you were happy."
Eglantyne by Elizabeth Elmwood,
“Marissa” by Lynden Johnson,
Jennings by Charles Roburn,
Johnny by Jason Terlecki.