Art by: Chris McKinley
            Terrie Smith
            Other unmentionables

Webpage: http://www.arclight.net/asb/

Price: $3.50 (!!)

It’s the story of a young lion by the name of Daniel King as he goes through college and the dramas of being a homosexual. It all sounds like a valid plot for a story except that Daniel goes from straight to gay in around 4 panels. When Daniel moves into his dorm, he’s your basic generic straight guy, but apparently his loneliness is enough to persuade him to take a penis up his ass for the rest of his life.

Look, I’ve been lonely in the past as well, but I don’t care how many dicks you shove in my face, it sure as hell isn’t a good substitute for companionship, and it definitely isn’t going to be enough to change my sexuality. You aren’t going to turn me straight by catching me at a vulnerable moment and pushing a pair of breasts against my mouth.

Initially there are twelve main characters, though this is something of a farce. Every character other than Daniel, Marcus (Daniel’s lover), Ricky (Flaming queen) and Stephen (Pretty straight boy) might as well be the shit stain left after the writer wiped his ass with the script, because they have about as much personality as a Taiwanese sweat shop worker. They could have named Alex (Supposed fashion queen, but one can never tell) Fag the Great White Ass Hunter and nobody would have batted an eyelid, as the most we get to know about this riveting personality is a one word sentence and a semi naked image of his body.

* Bonus fact: I’ve done some fan art of the ASB characters and most people seem to like my portrait of Alex because it is so ‘emotionally charged’. I find this quite impressive, as I seem to have added some depth to a character who’s only line is ‘Aloha’ and standing semi naked in the midst of an orgy. However, if I were made to talk like a Hawaiian twat and strut around in my underwear, I’d cry too.

I don’t know how resilient you people might be to dramas in your brazen homosexual lifestyles, but if I went through half the shit that Daniel did throughout the 8 issues of the comic, I wouldn’t be concentrating on trying to graduate and getting anally penetrated each night. I’d find the highest clock tower in the history of mankind and start randomly shooting people while vigorously masturbating to Shirley Bassey CD’s. To Lance’s credit, he’s made one tough fucker of a lion for his little tale. I’d applaud anyone who went through a change of sexual preference, a gay bashing, coming out against a nazi christian of a father, and a gay orgy, while still managing to retain his sanity at the end of it all.

Hair Styling: 2/10

After reading the first issue of ASB I got the impression that Marcus did not actually have any hair and instead emptied a can of whipped cream onto his scalp every morning, although I have since learned that it’s simply because Chris did a really shit job on the artwork for the first two issues.

Portrayal of characters: 1/83

The only reason this hasn’t got a negative score is that the creators did a good job of representing a group of twats obsessed with humping each other’s asses.

Perhaps I can put this into better perspective. For $3.50 I can either purchase a copy of ASB, or alternatively I can buy a 750ml bottle of generic Australian beer. I shall attempt to sum up the pros and cons of these financial purchases below:
 
 

Associated Student Bodies$3.50 32 Pages	Victoria Bitter $3.30 750mls
ASB offers, um, a compelling and well written story that the intended audience can appreciate and relate to. ASB gives us insight into the trials that a person must go through when coming to terms with being gay. ASB's sub stories are a wonderful way to relieve your testicles from the burden of all that sperm. ASB can be used to remove feces from your ass.	VB compels people to tell utterly absurd stories that would otherwise not be uttered in a state of sobriety, and often extremely entertaining. VB can often be used to convince a straight person to become gay, even if just for one night. An empty VB bottle can be used in a variety of stimulating ways to relieve your testicles from the burder of all that sperm. VB performs poorly as toilet paper.

So there you have it. Much to my dismay ASB pulls through by being a far superior sanitary aid. Though I am still certain that anything with an alcoholic content is far more worthy of my hard earned cash.

To sum it up this is the best reference for anal sex in college and cross dressing for racoons that I have ever come across. As for the content of the story itself, you can pretty much get the same thing by watching Days of our Lives and imagining that all the actors are wearing bunny ears and thinking of sucking your cock.