THE HORRIBLE ENGLISH TRANSLATION OF DOCTOR DEE

I was learn to reading some English over the centuries, but not a lot of people were knowing it. In the 16th century there was this guy named Doctor Dee who was offer to me to translate my book into English. He was being a slick character but I thought why not, I could to use the money from it. That was turn out to being a very big mistake. He was being the most awful translator I had to know ever. I could reading his work after he was finishing the first half or so, but he was not knowing that I was able to. I was really gotten in his face about it, I was not having believe how bad his translation was. Let me giving to you an example. Here is being one of the most famous parts from my book, which you may have got to read once. This is how Doctor Dee have translate it:

That is not dead which can eternal lie;
And with strange aeons even death may die.

I mean come on, what the hell does that mean to say, any way? This part is actually coming from a passage in where a salesman is try to talk Cthulhu into a lease-to-own condominium. I have hired to translate this into English again, and this is being the real way:

That is not let which can installments buy;
And with strange leins even debt may die.

Another one is this, which Doctor Dee translated:

In his house at R'lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.

What it was really say was this:

In his house at R'lyeh dead Cthulhu waits drinking.

(which anyone who is know Cthulhu can attesting to true). The worst one of his translations maybe was this:

They walk unseen and foul in lonely places where the Words have been spoken and the Rites howled through at their Seasons. The wind gibbers with Their voices, and the earth mutters with Their consciousness. They bend the forest and crush the city, yet may not forest or city behold the hand that smites. Kadath in the cold waste hath known Them, and what man knows Kadath?

What it was really supposed to say was this:

Fatimah walked quietly among her flock of snowy sheep. Her bare toes tickled through the little purple and white flowers that brightened the pasture like happily-strewn confetti. But for Fatimah, happiness was only a memory. An echo in her empty chest. For what pale succor could bleating sheep offer, when the man who owned her heart was gone, the man who had drunk her soul in a single quaff as though it were a cupful of wine squeezed from a delicate grape on a faraway hilltop? The man was gone. The hilltop remained. Now, all that was left to squeeze from Fatimah were tears.

So you can seeing that this whole thing was a disaster. I was kick him off the translation right away. I have hear though that he was gone on to rewrite the second half of the book himself any way and to sell it illegally. That is copyright infringing, please not to buying that copies of my book, it is not my book. There is a picture of it being on the right. I have hear that he was take out the camel chase scene and every thing, that is the one of best parts to me. So be careful.

Backing to THE REAL HISTORY OF THE NECRONOMICON
Forwarding to THE BIZARRE SPANISH EDITION OF 1625
This web page is being copyright (c) 1997 by Kris Andrews. This guy Kris is help me to putting this web page together, and he is tell me that I have to saying it's copyright to him, so okay, I did.