The Second Slip?

May 29, 1999

Well, I experienced yet another 'slip'.

I'm not going to continue using that term in this case, however, as this shifting experience actually felt just a little bit different than that.

With the slip, I experienced a sensation I could only explain as 'slipping' from with my own body, as if my soul had been thawed out, became animated, and began to physically alter my appearance. It was short and because it caught me so off guard, it only lasted a moment or two.

What happened this time was that I felt the same sensation, but this time I wasn't afraid and I willed it to go further. It lasted much longer than the original experience and, I swear, it felt so incredibly real, that I'll go out on a limb and say that I believe it was. I wish I had proof and I'm thinking on how I can prove an experience like this to be real. But, all I can think of is to just keep trying, be patient, and eventually I'll be able to go further. I believe that if I keep doing what I'm doing, I eventually be able to pass the point of self doubt and shift in a clear and noticable way that there could BE no doubt. I'll keep working at this as I will continue trying this approach, but all I can give you for now is what I've experienced so far and the... progress?... I've made towards p-shifting.

"The Second Slip?"
May 29, 1999

It began after I laid down for the night.

I was already somewhat tired, but first I simply relaxed and did a little m-shifting.

As I laid there, I became completely relaxed and I could feel a deep m-shift setting in. Physically, I felt no need to roll over or to toss and turn any more. I had found a comfortable position by lying on my right side, partially laid over even more with my stomach, chest, and left leg lying on the bed. My head was turned to the left and both of my arms were in front of me, elbows bent, so that my hands were almost above my face.

In this position, I felt completely comfortable and I closed my eyes.

I imagined my body slowly shifting as I laid there. I imagined the feeling of having fur beginning to grow, down my back, arms, and legs. I imagined the fur gradually reaching the backs of my hands, down my feet, and down around my back and as tail began to form. I could almost feel, in my imagining, my face and jaws elongating into a muzzle, the tip of my nose going moist as it turned black, and I could feel my ears start to pull back and up to the top of my head. Fur began to grow, forming the mask around my eyes as it flowed back, blending in with my hair and forming a mane down the back of my neck. With the formation of the muzzle, I could feel my canines extend and my tongue felt capable of stretching much further than it normally would.

The more wolf-like I envisioned myself being, the more I lost my ability to concentrate and I began to doze off in the somewhat shifted state.

I don't know if I woke up moments or mintutes later, but consciousness came back soon and I woke back up. I was in the same position I had been in, exactly, so I don't think I dozed off for long, but what woke me up was something new. I felt another sensation, something physical, that brought me back to.

My body felt animated.

I had felt the sensation before and excitingly, I remembered 'The Slip.' It was happening again. This time, instead of the initial fear I felt, I got excited. I recognized the sensation for what it was and I was bound and determined not to let it escape me again.

I continued to lay completely still and I allowed the shifting sensation to go on.

Still a bit m-shifted, I found that I didn't have to imagine myself feeling like a wolf anymore, I simply did. I didn't need to imagine, envision, or think about what it 'would' feel like. I did feel like one. I no longer felt human at all. My eyes were now open, so I could see by my forearms and hands that I was still physically human, but that no longer 'felt' right.

The shifting was slow and gradually, but what felt like what was happening was that what I was physically was not merging, but conforming to how I felt. I felt, thoroughly, like a wolf, and now my body was physically conforming to that!

It was an incredible sensation! And, because I was no longer afraid of it, I was able to make it last longer than a brief second or two, like what happened last year.

I wanted to see my body changing, so I continued to stare at my forearms and hands. I wanted so badly to see it happen so I knew that what I was feeling was real and not just in my head. I need to see it, not just to enjoy watching it happen, but to confirm once and for all to myself that I was indeed capable of doing what I had dreamed of for years, physically shapeshifting.

However, I found that as I looked on, it seemed to dull the sensation. The shifting continued, but I was becoming less sensitive to it. I worried that if I continued to look on, I would gradually lose it. I was distracting myself, I realized, and so I closed my eyes.

I focused on purely feeling the sensation and that came with no problem.

What I continued to feel was strong. As my body felt like it was conforming to my imagined body of a wolf, I felt a lot of retraction, actually. I felt it mainly in my arms and legs, mostly in the legs and in the shins. I physically felt this. I could physically feel my arms and legs retract very slowly and I could actually feel the sensation of my body moving on it's own against the bedsheets and covers.

I found that in my eagarness to have this continue, I began actually moving my arms and legs, trying to make the shift happen faster. I tensed up the muscles and tried to force the shift. By doing so, I again found that it dulled the sensation. Quickly, I decided to stop and just let it happen on it's own. Besides, it was doing well enough on it's own already. I shouldn't be pushing my luck.

So, again I relaxed.

The shifting continued without even slowing. Now, I turned my attention to what else was happening. I marveled in the pure joy of what I felt. It felt so good and so real that I started not caring whether it was real or not.

Now, I began to realize what else was changing as my lower face seemed to want to go forward. It was hard to resist the temptation to simply nash my teeth and will the change, to push it forward, but I remained relaxed and it was a very odd sensation. I could feel my face seem to flow forth very slowly on it's own.

Although, I with-held helping the shift of my muzzle, I couldn't help but take a deep breath and smell the air. My nose was clear, for a change, but I couldn't really smell anything yet. I did notice however that my nose did feel somewhat... different. I opened my eyes again, just for a peak, but I couldn't see anything different.

I reminded myself to be patient as I knew the shift was very slow and gradual, but I was hoping to see something.

There came a new sensation in my hands and feet. I closed my eyes and soaked it in. My fingers literally felt think they were shortening and my feet seemed to be elongating. The nails felt harder now, hard enough to actually feel them. They didn't feel like claws yet or that they were curving out, but they felt hard enough to be claws. I wondered if they had turned black. Had I formed paw pads yet?

I focused on the feeling in my hands. The palms seemed longer, thumb shorter, but what I felt the most was this same sensation of pulling, or of retraction, on the backs of my hands as I continued to feel in my arms and legs.

I loved this sensation of my body becoming so alive and animated, shifting and I revealed in every lasting moment of it, however, something was about to happen. The retraction of my limbs in combination with a stretching that had begun in my head was fast becoming to much to bare. The stretching in my head, I could tell, was of my head becoming, not tall like a human's, but longer, like a wolf's. My backbone felt stiff despite how relaxed my body was and I could tell something was going on with my lower back. Was I growing a tail?!?

But, something was becoming terribly uncomfortable. The shift was beginning to speed up. As things were actually conforming, I could also feel that, but the retraction was just too much, too unbearable.

I knew what was happen to happen. My body, specifically my legs, were about to undergo a major change. It had progressed slowly, but now it had retracted all it could and now it was time for a major shift as my legs were about to conform and reshape themselves into a more canine form.

By relaxing, I felt like I had possibly p-shifted in minor ways and now I was about to cross the line and some major, more noticable shifts were about to take place. However, the retraction had caused the muscle to tense up. I felt that if they tensed up anymore, they might cramp up.

I couldn't take it. I stretched out. When I did, I killed the shift. However, when I stretched and I reached out with my hands and feet, I felt a quick... I don't know how to describe it, morphing sensation as my body easily reshaped fully into my human form. This felt like a physical sensation as well and what was odd,... It almost did feel like I literally stretched out into a human body. Image being slightly canine and while stretching out while lying down, you stretch out back into your human form. That's how I felt.

As I stretched out, I opened my eyes and was disappointed to find that I could find any clear signs that I had changed. I was hoping to see some fur at least... maybe I opened my eyes too late. Or maybe it never really happened, not physically anyway.

I was pissed at myself for not being able to go with it all the way. Maybe the retraction would have gave way at any moment, causing my legs to shift and fully conform, making that transition from human legs into more canine-like hind legs. On the other hand, I worried that maybe all I was doing was tensing my legs so tight that, all I might actually be doing was cramping them up. No, I then thought, it was happening on it's own. I still fully relaxed. Even if my legs were both, coincidently, cramping up at the same time, my whole body was subtly moving, not just my legs.

Did I do it? Was I actually p-shifting? If not, I thought, I definitly felt like a made it another step closer. Regardless of my success or failure, I was still happy. It was such an incrediable experience! And what was cool was that it lasted longer than the first time, much longer. I was actually able to feel and to soak in what was really going on.

Notes in closing:

I have managed only to do this a few more times at night while lying in my rack, but none have gone as far as this one did.

It would seem that I had indeed come very close to p-shifting once again, but I have continued to keep my mind open and I would much rather know what actually happened than just tell myself and others what I want to believe.

Recently, I came across some information of Out of Body Experiences and how people feel leading up to them. I've found similarities between what they experience and what I'm doing when I m-shift at night. I relax my body to a point of deep relaxation to the point that I can hardly feel my body. Then, unlike they do, I m-shift and imagine embodying the form of a wolf. What most OBEers do, instead, is imagine floating or rolling out of their bodies. However, then we both find ourselves in much the same situation. We find ourselves in exactly the same 'real' environment that we are actually in, our beds at night or whatever. We notice a hypersensativity of sorts and we attribute that to the soul.

Is it possible that, instead of p-shifting like I was hoping I was doing, I'm actually having an Out of Body Experience? The only difference being that, instead of leaving the real physical body, I stay within it and shift the form of my soul.

Then again, on the other hand, even if that is the case, who's to say that by staying within the physical body, I'm not actually altering the physical as well as the spiritual?

Boy, do I need your thoughts on this one!