IT'S ME SAMWISE 
(sung to the tune of "Gangsta's Paradise" by Coolio)

As I walk through the marshes filled with the stench
of death,
I take a look at ourselves
And realize there's just two of us left
Gollum's held that ring and been laughing so long
Frodo and I figure his mind is probably gone
This ring crossed us alas even though we didn't deserve it
Suddenly we're stalked by evil we've long unheard of
We gotta watch how we're talkin'
And where we're walkin'
Or me and Mr Frodo might end up in the swamp
I hate to admit it, but I gotta folks
My dreams of the shire are goin' up in smoke
Though,I'll be the hero little hobbits wanna be like
For the rest of my life
Provided that all of us survive.


1-Been spending most our lives
Living in that Shire paradise 
Now we're risking both our lives
Mr Frodo and me, Samwise. 

The dark lord Sauron, he wants his own ring
In its small round gold circle, it held Middle Earth's fate.
So we gotta leave the cozy little Shire rooms
And get the damn ring thrown into the Cracks of Doom.
I ain't a fool and never had this in mind
But the ring's on Frodo's neck, and the Nazgul right behind!
Though we got Legolas, Gimli , Gandalf, Strider
real name's Aragorn to fend off the Dark Riders,
The lure of the ring is just a finger away
Boromir succumbed, Galadriel nearly, what can I say?
The Nazgul were great kings, but Sauron claimed their souls,
And to that edge draws nearer Mr Frodo.

There's terrible things Frodo can see
What befell those kings could happen to he.

Been spending most our lives,
living in that Shire paradise,
But now we're risking both our lives
Mr Frodo and me, Samwise.

Gotta burn the damn ring, seize the final hour,
Or Sauron he will obtain all-absolute power,
Orcs and mortals are fighting, and all the Ents are waking
The elves will soon be leaving
And Arwen's all pouty-looking.
Daddy told her it's all right
To go bonk a mortal prince,
But if the stud dies, what's gonna happen since?
Kings and Princes, elves and dwarves,a bedtime story
"Yawn!" are gonna go the judges of the Academy
That's why I know this movie should be ending now, fool!

Three hours of your life
You've been sitting there taxing your eyes,
Get out once the credits rise,
You'd need some sunshine and blue skies.

Tell me nerds are you too blind to see
Liv Tyler's married, drop your fantasy.

There's a lesson to learn from this movie,
For great vistas, shoot in Old NZ!