The day stared down with merciless eye unblinking, a fiery taskmaster melting Duo's sweltery resolve. He sweated tenaciously, pushing to match Heero's cool, unruffled pace.

    The shade of trees, only too sparse while they moved, did little to loosen the vise-like grip of the sun upon Duo's intractable black-collared shirt. The sodden cloth seemed to steam, garroting him as it absorbed radiation from the heavens, perspiration from his flesh. He imagined it tightening down suddenly, and prised the soaking neckband away from his choking throat.

    Oh, how he envied Heero's loose green muscleshirt, as broad bare shoulders appeared and disappeared sinuously through the forbidding foliage ahead; how he envied his friend's determined, confident swaggering lead; his loose, fluid grace, untroubled at whatever the world threw at him. Duo quickened to catch sound of the fading footsteps rapidly leaving him behind. "Damn," he said, "Is a picnic actually worth this?"

    "Quit whining," came the reply, a little impatient, yet neutral and self-possessed. Heero sounds unbelievably cool, Duo envied. "We're almost there. You could hear the stream already, if you'd just be quiet."

    "Oooh, the sound of a rippling stream... how romantic!" But Duo took care with the sarcasm, cautious not to let his friend hear. It wasn't that he was in a bad mood, really. But the temperature had him out-of-sorts, and the hike proved to be longer than he'd supposed. His choice of dark clothing was a regrettable mistake, too.

    Maybe I am whining, he thought.

    But Heero was a good as his word, and in a moment they were standing together in a cool and shady spot, the only sunlight being the diffuse reflected ripples which danced on the undersides of the sheltering leaves. More like it, Duo thought. Something akin to the image of his usual smile found him, as Heero glanced up, noting how uncommon he'd been acting today.

    "Are you OK with this," Heero demanded, almost kindly. "We can go home, if you're not."

    Duo didn't even notice the uncharacteristic consideration. He ripped the stiff white plastic band from the collar-channel at his neck, popped open the button, and inhaled noisily, as if the cloth had been covering nose and mouth instead.

    Heero snickered, turned to survey the water so his rare smile wouldn't show. Those damned clerical shirts of his are so pretentious, he thought. Baka Duo deserves to bake like a duck in a roaster! But he thought it was kind of cute, anyhow, how Duo looked dressed up like that. Not that he'd ever admit that little morsel, of course.

    Duo attacked the buttons which ran down his chest, a cordon of terrorists holding him hostage, and laid the shirt open with vicious, scythe-like rapidity. Cuffs followed, and then he was suddenly, joyously free - gloriously bright and naked to the waist with his long and heavy braid falling casually over one pale shoulder. He breathed deep, radiating almost visible heat, and the cool of the impudent breeze caressed his wonderful bareness.

    Heero cast an intelligent glance back over his shoulder, unpacking the lunch they'd brought. Duo had prepared it all, and - he had to give him credit - it looked pretty good. There'd be enough, certainly, and he'd just forget about the vanity of a trim tummy, for once. Yeah, this is a day for relaxing, he ruled. Kickin' back and takin' it easy.

    Duo stretched, arms above his head, with the breath of summer turning the drying coolness beneath them to an innocent tickle. He inhaled mightily, expanding his deep, smooth chest to the fullest. It felt so good to be out of that silly shirt! With a shake of his braid and a pleasurable sigh, he gave in to it, convincing himself to enjoy the day and the picnic - and spending a little private time with Heero, of course.

    It was my idea in the first place, he argued. It couldn't be so bad after all.

    "Lunch's ready," Heero called around a premature mouthful of egg salad. He didn't stand much on formality, anyway. Well, unless... He looked up, anxiously.

    Duo bounced over, feeling much better - and suddenly very hungry, too. He recalled the goodies he'd packed, all their favorites. Well, as much as he could pinch in the early-morning darkness of the mess kitchen, before the cooks had gotten there for the day. Against all odds, he'd even laid hands on a few dark bottles of beer, the good rich German kind.

    I think I could enjoy today, he mused, giddily. The orange in his hands peeled easily. Maybe a swim, after, he suggested to himself. And then...

    They ate long and well, chatting a little over cold teriyaki rice and thick beef sandwiches. The beer, chilled to perfection in the swiftness of the stream, went down polar sweet, heavy and golden. They sucked up awkward slices of a juicy apple pie, munching ripe cheese, stuffing themselves to sleepy repletion.

    Heero lay back comfortably on the blanket they'd brought, nibbling tidbits from a nearby bowl. He'd been enjoying the picnic, a touch less Spartan as they ate, but felt now not so talkative. (If ever Heero could be said to be open, in the first place.) But he wasn't off by himself somewhere, exploring inside his head. He just couldn't shape together what he'd been wanting to say. He glanced at his friend, who reclined against the trunk of a tree, rubbing his greedy tummy, and moaning.

    "Huh. Good lunch, dude," Heero offered. He didn't quite plan it. Just better than saying nothing, he supposed. Such wit, such originality! He felt like a fool, even as he said it.

    Duo looked over, frankly and suspiciously. It wasn't like Heero to actually say two nice things in the same day. Maybe it was something he'd eaten... "You OK, man?"

    "Yeah, fine. Why?" Dammit, Duo, he thought. Don't start gettin' all touchy-feely on me. Not right now.

    Heero was strangely close to himself that afternoon - had been, all day, in fact - and it felt surprisingly good. Unfamiliar, but deep. He didn't want the unknown spell broken. He was in enemy territory, and he knew it.

    And Duo could sense when to shut up, give some space. Which he did, right then.

    There was just always going to be stuff, Duo knew, stuff that he could never tell Heero. Feelings towards him, mostly. Secret things, that a boy keeps to himself, taking them out of their hiding places only when no one is around to see. But Duo was OK with that, resigned to let things be close at a comfortable distance between them, enjoying what he had for as long as he could. Heero didn't need to know he was the constant star of Duo's nightly dreams. His day dreams. And sweet bed-time fantasies, most of all! Nope. Better to at least have him for a friend, than to risk it all...

    He lay back idly, supervising as the fluffy clouds were carefully ginned by the industrious breezes of high summer, and remembered Heero's totally awesome rear, that one time he'd walked in on his private shower. He could play that scene over and over in his mind all day...

    Heero tried to check himself from the slightest hint of a tremble, ashamed in his heart at what he figured could only be cowardice. But how do I tell Duo about this? he wondered. It's not like it's the hardest thing I've ever done. Or most dangerous. It only feels that way.

    The ground under his back was no easier than his dilemma.

    It was too much like the insane, heady rush of a good weapon in his hands, this new feeling that kept taunting him. That was all he could compare it to. And it only happened when he was near Duo. Always Duo.

    He looked away, averted the glance from his own heart, as well. But he was too honest and intelligent to evade it. He was starting to feel something - for his best friend.

    But do I want to tell him? he asked himself. What's it gonna do for me? Yeah, Duo's sorta, you know... But that doesn't mean he's really like this too. Am I even 'like this'? Might all be just a mistake.

    His temporizing was frankly pointless, he knew. He'd been over and over this for a week. It felt too much like putting off a dangerous mission, for him to believe that the hesitation was anything short of fear. And Heero hated to be afraid.

    But for the first time he could remember, he couldn't pin down his resolve. Hell, he even caught himself re-thinking his decision to tell Duo in the first place. Not that he'd actually decided the issue that firmly, either...

    Damn, he thought. This is just so confusing. It's almost like it's happening to someone else. Not me.

    Duo's hand lay near Heero's own. The two boys were head-and-tail, side-by-side on the blanket. Heero raised up on his elbows, to discover his friend quite asleep. At least, he looks asleep, doubted Heero. He nudged the hand next to his, but Duo didn't react. Shook the wrist - still no response.

    Damn.

    He lay back again, relieved that his decision tell Duo - or not to tell - wouldn't come to anything just then. And felt stupid for putting it off, too. Weak for feeling saved - needing to be saved. Shamefully weak. He even considered waking Duo, facing those big, sleepy eyes as he forced the secret out of himself. But that would be selfish.

    Heero was suddenly surprised at how much attention he was now paying to stuff like that. Feelings. And being polite, especially to Duo. Not like he was getting weak or nothin'. He could sort of tell what his friend was feeling - at least he thought he was beginning to - just by the way he stood, and the way his expression changed. Strange.

    Only girls are this sensitive, he thought. And I'm certainly not a girl.

    He laughed at the thought, considering what he could do to anyone who ever called him names. Or said stuff behind his back. He'd kick their asses in new ways that hadn't even been discovered yet!

    Yeah, they wouldn't even dare, he told himself. I'm no...

    But what would Duo say? It wasn't like he'd never had to kick Duo's ass before. But, well, he realized, startled a bit, I wouldn't want to seriously hurt him.

    And worse... What if Duo really isn't open to this?

    For the first time, Heero didn't have a backup plan.

    What would I do without Duo, if this fails?

    Heero bit down, squinting against the incipience. He knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he turned the coward now. With a deep breath, he threw himself from the cliff. Palm cupped in sudden trembling, trusting need, his hand slid gently under Duo's fingertips. He could hear the blood sing in his ears, taste the silent air within his lungs, smell the essence of his own struggle.

    Even in his fear, it felt delicious.

    Yes!, Duo cheered to himself.