Author: Van Vogt, A.E.
Title: The Voyage of the Space Beagle
Year: 1950
Furry Content: Catmorph, birdmorphs
Rating: 1 (out of 4) paws

One of my former roommates and I had a good laugh
once at a nature show we were watching. The show
followed a herd of wilde beasts on their migration
route. As they traveled, they first went through the land
of the lions. Then they went to the land of the cheetah.
In describing the different predators of wilde beasts, the
show had made them into hapless creatures getting
picked off by each new challenge they faced. This dull
book is a lot like that show.  

The Space Beagle is the first Earth ship to travel to
another galaxy. Amid sleep-inducing accounts of long
conversations between thick-skulled scientists, the ship
stumbles on super-powerful creatures such as: Coeurl, a
panther-morph that can control electromagnetic fields
with his brain, figure out how to re-build a
disassembled lifepod, and which feeds on the life-force
of other living creatures (and whom the scientists allow
to freely wander their ship??!); the Riim, a race of
telepathic bird-morphs that accidently drives the crew
insane; Ixtl, a "fire-skinned beast" that lives in deep
space, feeds on light, can change the arrangement of his
atoms so as to pass through solid matter, and who must
lay his eggs in a living creature; and so on. As various
members of the crew fall victim to these adversaries,
their only hope (although they don't realize it) is an
unlikable, egomaniacal scientists who just also happens
to be a genius. The story is mostly told from his point
of view, but even still I couldn't hope to understand the
apparently "obvious" solutions that he comes up with. I
don't know if it's me, the writing, or the ideas. In
addition to all of this, a good part of the book is about
the political maneuverings of several head scientists. 

*Yawn*   Generally, I enjoy "classic" sci-fi. Not so
here. Indeed, I searched around and found several very
glowing reviews of this book. But as each crisis
developed, I had no doubt that the brilliant protagonist
would come up with another unfathomable scheme to
save the ship. Boooring.  

Oh! And another thing. There isn't one female character
in the entire book. Even the egg-laying monster is a he.
Mention is made of the sex-drive dampening drugs that
the crew has to take, and how even the drugs can't be
"emotionally satisfying." Geez, you're going to be in
outer space for ten years. A decade. Here's an idea
boys: Take some women scientists on your long
journey! Even women get horny after a while, for
crying out loud. (I'm sorry, but for some reason this
point really bothered me.)  

 <*SPOILER ALERT*>  
If any of you still feel the need to read this thing to
know how it turns out, let me save you the trouble.
Galaxy M-33, is turns out, is inhabited by one sentient
creature - a galaxy-sized amoeba-like things made of
interstellar dust. The amoeba can move planets around
to it's own satisfaction, making jungle planets. Why?
The amoeba needs the enormous life-force produced by
jungle planets because it feeds on the life-force of other
creatures (yes, just like Coeurl). So: protagonist makes
a plan. Protagonist presents plan. Plan is rejected.
Protagonist hypnotizes crew, takes over ship, and
carries out plan.