TITLE: Steward's Twin Brother. STORY BY Jaime Chan SCRIPT BY Jaime Chan 1st DRAFT: August 24th, 1997 -Steward, Ross and all related indicia are copyright Jaime Chan. 1997. -None of this document is to be altered in any way, or sold for commercial use without the permission of the author. -Maple Town is a fictional place. -This story was based on an X-Files episode called "Small Potatoes." However, it is not a parody or a spoof on the episode. Some scenes were taken from the episode and some lines, but that is all. LOCALE: Waterloo, Ontario Sitting on a brick wall in the park in the late afternoon sun, 4 teenagers are talking amongst themselves. 3 of them, Idge, Jake and Pete, are Toons, and the other one, Chase, is a Hybrid. Idge is a B Type orange Toon dog/cat with white areas on his hands and face. He has a black nose and his semi-erect ears tend to flop over on the side. He wears a light blue shirt and dark blue jeans. In essence, he looks a lot like his best friend, Michael Edward Steward, but the resemblance is mutual. They are not related, and have known each other ever since they were just kids. He was only 1 year old, and Mike was 6 when they first met. Now that he's 17, Mike, who now changed his name to Toby, recently 'adopted' him. It was weird calling him his 'dad,' off course, since he always called him by his first name. Jake Fields is a B Type Toon wolf with gray fur, a black nose and two small ears. He is wearing a white shirt and brown slacks. Jake's best friend is Pete, and are in fact next door neighbours in Maple Town, Ontario. At 16, he looks a lot like his father, Stanley. Pete is a B Type Toon dog with smooth white fur with a brown patch over his left eye. At 18 years, he also looks a lot like his dad, Douglas, except Doug doesn't have a brown patch over his eye. Pete has brown ears, a brown shirt and black pants. His cousin is Crystal, who recently married Toby, so he's just visiting Waterloo for a while. Chase, a Hybrid with orange hair and 2 long brown floppy ears is 16 years old and wears a white shirt and white shorts. He is Idge's second best friend. PETE So uh...that do you guys want to do? JAKE I dunno. What do you wanna do? IDGE (yawning) There's nothing to do in this dead town! CHASE Well we can always skip stones in the lake again. IDGE, JAKE and PETE BOORRRIIINNNNGGG!!!! CHASE How about we tell jokes? ALL 3 NO!!!!!! CHASE Well okay, how about we go down to the mall? It's air conditioned. IDGE Well that's something good you thought about all day. PETE Good idea. JAKE Fine with me. Let's go. Chase glances over to the roadside and sees a car go by. CHASE Hey, Idge, I just saw your 'dad' go by. Idge checks his watch. Hmmm....4pm.... IDGE (skeptical) Nahh you must be seeing things. He wouldn't be out this early. PETE (raising an eyebrow) 4pm is early? IDGE Well to him, it's early. He's a late sleeper. Everyone ohs. CHASE But I *did* see him! Unless he's got a twin brother. IDGE As far as I know, he hasn't got a twin brother. I'm sure you just imagined it. CHASE (scratching his head) Well it sure looked like him.... IDGE Just forget about it, okay? Let's just go! They head off to the local mall to hang out. Later, at the mall, they are sitting down at a bench in front of a department store. JAKE Looks like it's back to square one... PETE Yeah, but at least it's cooler in here. JAKE Oh, that reminds me. I got to get new shoes. Chase looks at his shoes. CHASE I think I need new shoes too. IDGE Not me, cause I don't wear shoes. He looks at Jake and Pete. IDGE How come you guys wear shoes? You have pads. JAKE (shrugging) One of Maple Town's laws is to wear shoes. IDGE (confused) Why? JAKE I dunno. It's too habit forming now so I'd feel weird without shoes on. Besides, doesn't it hurt? IDGE Not in the slightest. Chase glances over to the left and sees someone enter a store. CHASE Hey I just saw your 'dad' again. He went into that store. IDGE (disbelieving) Yeah, sure. CHASE No, really. This time, I really did see him! If you don't believe me, wait 'til he comes out! Everyone looks over at the store. A couple of minutes goes by and he doesn't come out. IDGE (smug) See, what did I tell you? He never went in there. Now let's.... Suddenly a figure runs out of the store, as if in a hurry. He is holding a hefty brown bag. All four sees him run off down the mall. CHASE See? He *did* go in there! IDGE Yeah, but why the rush? His question was answered by a store clerk who shouted, "Help! The store has been robbed!" All four teenagers look at each other in shock. CHASE Uh...isn't your dad a cop? PETE He turned to a life of crime? JAKE (looking sly) Hee, hee, happens to everyone sooner or later. IDGE (shocked) It *can't* be him! ...Could it? Well, only one way to find out. He runs off after the 'thief' before anyone could do anything. Soon the security guards are alerted to the robbery and gives chase. Meanwhile, in a car patrolling the area close to the hospital, two people were talking. The driver of the vehicle is an orange and white Toon who looks exactly like Idge, except he has a red nose and his ears tend to fold in front of his head. He is wearing a brown suit with blue jeans. His name is Tobias Eddie Steward. The passenger of the car is a Hybrid wearing a brown suit too. Her name is Diana Ross, who just so happens to have the same name as a singer. ROSS (they always call each other by their last names) Go on. STEWARD The okapi, a recent discovery, belongs to the giraffe family. The female is larger than the male. She may stand 1.65 m (5.5 ft) at the shoulder and be 1.95 m (6.5 ft) long. The neck is tall, the muzzle pointed, and the ears large and erect. Males have small horns. The okapi can extend its long tongue to its eyes to wash them. The coat is purplish brown, with a light-colored face and bars of black and white on the upper legs and buttocks. Okapis live in dense eastern Congo rain forests. They are cud-chewers and eat fruits, leaves, and seeds. ROSS You mean they look like a cross between a zebra and a giraffe? STEWARD Well if you put it that way, yeah. As a matter of fact, they do look like a cross between a zebra and a giraffe. The car phone suddenly rings. She gets her phone and answers. ROSS Ross here. Where? Okay we'll be right there. What? He's with me. Yes.....yes...okay...bye. She puts down the phone in a somewhat state of shock. Her partner turns to her. STEWARD Who was it? ROSS The chief. There's been a robbery at the local mall. STEWARD On my way. He turns left at the light and heads on down straight to the mall. He notices Ross' expression. STEWARD What? ROSS You wouldn't believe it if I told you. STEWARD What? ROSS The guy who robbed the store is...you. There is a silence STEWARD (shocked, pointing to himself) Me? Meanwhile, back at the mall, the thief is running as fast as he can. Since Toons are faster than humans, he easily evades the guards. The only one who can catch up to him is Idge, and that's just what he does. He tackles the thief, sending them sprawling to the ground. The thief turns his head around at his attacker, growling. Idge gasps. It *was* him! IDGE (shocked) Toby? He is met with a vicious punch to the face. The thief gets up and runs off. Meanwhile, at the car park, our heroes run inside the mall. STEWARD I'll take the top floor and you'll take this floor. They head their separate ways. He goes up the stairs and turns around a corner and boom! He runs right into the thief. Shocked to see a carbon copy of him, he just stands there looking like an idiot, until the thief pushes him off to one side and runs off. Steward gives chase. He catches up to the thief and grabs onto his shoulder at the railing . The thief whirls around and elbows Steward in the ribs. He then whirls him around and slams him against the railing, throwing him off to land in the fountain below. The thief then makes his escape. Down below in the water fountain, a drenched Toon makes his way out, sputtering out water. He is quickly grabbed by the security guards and puts his hands behind his back. STEWARD You're arresting the wrong guy! GUARD 1 Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say. STEWARD If you don't believe me, check out my ID!!! Just then, Ross comes up. STEWARD (frantic) Ross! Tell them I'm me! ROSS Actually I can't tell you two apart. One of the guards take his wallet and checks out his ID. GUARD 2 Hmmm, what do you know? Okay, let him go. The guards lets him go. He rubs his hands and grabs his wallet back. STEWARD (mad) Told you I'm me! ROSS I caught a glimpse of the thief but he got away from me. He looks exactly like you, Steward. Just then, Idge and his friends show up. Idge is rubbing his face. IDGE And he can fight too! He punched me! STEWARD (grinning) Hey, maybe he's my twin brother! I always wanted to meet a relative of mine! ROSS Uh, I think you should hold that thought. Until we catch this guy, you better stay off the case. STEWARD (disappointed) Awwww....but I want to meet my twin brother! IDGE (sarcastic) Yeah, a twin brother. Looks alike but yet are polar opposites. ROSS If even your best friend can't recognize you, how could I possibly tell you apart If you two happen to meet again? STEWARD I'll just wear a special stamp thingie on my hand that shows up under ultraviolet rays. ROSS Steward, I'm serious. STEWARD Well, so am I! I really want to be in this case. You can't do this by yourself. You *need* me. Don't we always work best as a team? ROSS (sighing) Alright. STEWARD Wahoo!! I'm going to see my twin brother! That night, while driving along in the car, Steward kept babbling on about meeting his 'twin brother.' Ross hasn't seen him this happy ever since he won an award for cop of the year in 1995, and 1996. However, it got to the point that Ross thought it very annoying. It was just too a coincidence for someone who looked exactly like him, wore the exact same clothes as him, and possibly even talks like him, to be a twin brother. There was something weird going on. She glances over at her partner. He should've thought the exact same thing she thought by now but he was too much preoccupied with his chance of meeting a long lost family member to think clearly. She didn't want to say anything in fear it will break his heart, or depress him. As far as she's concerned, she won't expect much help from him with this case. Right now, he is in his own little world. ROSS (concerned) I hope you won't be too preoccupied with your long lost 'twin brother' to help with this case. STEWARD (not really listening) Huh? Oh yeah. Don't worry about it. ROSS Steward, you're not listening. STEWARD What? Off course I'm listening...what did you say before that? ROSS (shouting) STEWARD!!! LISTEN TO ME!! Steward pops back to reality. STEWARD (shouting) WHAT?! ROSS (back to a normal voice) I hope you won't be too preoccupied with your long lost 'twin brother' to help with this case. STEWARD (looking at Ross) What? That's ridiculous! What kind of a Toon do you take me for?! Are you saying that I'm too over enthusiastic over the fact that I just *might* have a twin brother that I'm going to be blind over this place? ROSS (serious) No, but you shouldn't be so gung-ho over a guy who just unexpectedly pops out of nowhere after so many years. He's nothing like you! He is a robber, and we'll gonna be hauling him off to jail! There is silence for a moment. STEWARD (calmed down) You're right....I've been acting stupid. I just so wanted to meet a relation to me that I forget about anything else. I never seen any relatives for years. I'm beginning to wonder if I *even* have any relatives! It just seems so much to me... Ross puts a hand on his shoulder. ROSS (in a soft voice) Hey, it's okay. I didn't realize how much this means to you, and I'm sorry, but whoever this guy is might not be related to you. Remember that. STEWARD (depressed) Yeah, I know...but I so much want him to be. He forces out a lopsided grin, despite his depression. STEWARD Thanks, partner. She smiles slightly. ROSS Don't lose hope, partner. For a Toon, you're a funny guy. Meanwhile, in a local movie theatre, crowds of people are watching a drama movie. One of those people is the thief. He is yawning continuously, but forces himself to watch it. When the romantic parts come on, he watches with more interest. He hmmmss, and grins slyly. Later that night, he heads on over to a phone booth and checks out Steward's name. He quickly scans the list under the 'S's and stops at M. Steward (the phone book didn't change from Michael to Tobias yet). It turns out he is the only person in town that has that last name. He writes down the address on a piece of paper and leaves the phone booth, heading to an abandoned building and staying there for the night. The next night, Steward are Ross are patrolling around town. STEWARD Well, there's nothing to do until the guy strikes again. He accidentally hits his hand hard against the dashboard and yelps in surprise. ROSS (concerned) Are you okay? Her partner holds onto his hand, where a bruise starts to form. STEWARD Yeah, I'm okay. Gad, it hurts though! Ross looks at his injured hand. ROSS (concerned) I don't like the look of that bruise. Do you need any medical treatment? STEWARD Hey, you worry about the treatment and I'll worry about the bruise! I've been shot two times, got beaned in the head once too many times, and fell down the stairs on numerous occasions. I don't think a little bruise is going to scare me. ROSS Okay, I was just concerned. That's all. He rubs the bruise on his hand. STEWARD Oooo look, it's turning purple. Man, I'm hungry. Let's get something to eat. They head off to a fast food place, since they're not supposed to taking long breaks at a normal restaurant. He parks the car in the parking lot and goes alone to get takeout. When it is his turn to order, the cashier looks at him. CASHIER Do you want anything else, sir? He raises an eyebrow. STEWARD What? CASHIER Do you want anything else? STEWARD (confused) I just came here. I never ordered anything. The cashier raises an eyebrow too. CASHIER (confused) I just served you 3 minutes ago. You ordered a cheeseburger and fries. STEWARD I never ordered anything. CASHIER (confused) Well the guy I served looked exactly like you. Now are you going to order anything or not? There is a line behind you. Suddenly, things start to click in. STEWARD (lowering his voice) You said I ordered something a few moments ago. Did I say where I was going? Where did I head off to? The cashier looks really confused. CASHIER Uh...out the front door. STEWARD Thanks. He leaves by the front door, but instead of going to the car, he walks off to the side of the building. Ross, who is watching by the car, wonders where he's going, and without any food. She gets out of the car and heads towards the building. Steward heads to the back, where the trash bins are. He scans the area, but sees no one. He goes off to the other side of the building, where he sees himself jumping over a fence. STEWARD (shouting) Hey! Stop! The thief doesn't stop and runs off. He gives chase, and soon slowly catches up to him. When he's almost within reach, Ross runs out from behind the trees ahead of the thief and points her gun at him. ROSS Hold it right there! The thief automatically serves to the left, sending Steward directly in the line of fire. STEWARD (shock) AHH!! Don't shoot! Ross puts her gun down and together, they run after the thief. The thief runs into a dark alley and heads end at a high brick wall. Our heroes enter the alley, and see the thief cornered. STEWARD (talking to the thief) Are you my brother? Instead of answering him, the thief gets a running start and jumps clear over the brick wall. Our heroes look in complete surprise. ROSS Now how in the world did he do that?! It's impossible! STEWARD Beats me, but we lost him. He starts sniffing. STEWARD (sad) Maybe he hates me and doesn't want to become my brother. ROSS Steward, a crook cornered in a dark alley is not going to say "I am your brother." STEWARD Oh. They look up at the high wall. Even a dog couldn't jump that high, let alone a cat. Later that night, the thief makes his way to Steward's house. He scans the house from across the street and when he is satisfied, he gets up to go back to the abandoned building, but he is stopped by Willy, Steward's next door neighbour. Willy is a B Toon grey wolf with a black nose and small ears. He wears brown pants and a white shirt. WILLY Hey, Toby! What are you doing over there? The thief curses under his breath and goes over to Willy. He starts talking in a perfect copy of Steward's voice. THIEF Uh...I'm just taking a walk. WILLY At this hour of the night? Aren't you supposed to be working? THIEF Well, yeah, but I got a day off today, so now I'm taking the cat out for a walk. Willy raises an eyebrow. WILLY I didn't know you had a cat. THIEF (getting nervous) Well, you do know. I just got him today. WILLY Oh really? Uh...where is the cat? THIEF Uh...he took off on me. That stupid cat never does what I tell him to. WILLY (chuckling) Yeah, Harry sometimes doesn't do what I tell him to too. THIEF What a dumb name for a dog. WILLY (raising an eyebrow) Harry's my pet boa...don't you remember? THIEF (nervous) Uh...off course! I'm not stupid! I just forgot, that's all. Now I have more important things to do than to talk to you, Wally! WILLY (confused) My name's Willy....did you forget my name too? THIEF (annoyed) Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm under a lot of pressure, okay?! WILLY (concerned) Are you alright, Toby? You don't sound normal. THIEF (mad) Off course I'm fine! Why shouldn't I be? Now get outta here before I get really mad! WILLY (defeated) Uh...okay. The thief heads off down the street past Willy's house. WILLY (calling out after him) Hey! Your house is that way! The thief ignores him and continues down the street. Willy shrugs and walks back to his house. The next day, Steward sees a 'get well soon' card in the mailbox from Willy. STEWARD (confused) Now why in the world would he send me this, but then again, he'd do anything. He walks over to Willy's house and rings the doorbell. Willy answers. Harry, Willy's pet boa constrictor, slithers between Willy's legs. STEWARD Hey get that boa away from me! I don't like the way he's looking at me with those shifting eyes! Willy shoos Harry away. WILLY Oooo, did you get my card this morning? Steward shows him the card. STEWARD What on earth did you send me this for?! I'm not sick!! WILLY You were last night. STEWARD (confused) What are you talking about?! WILLY (concerned) You definitely weren't yourself then. STEWARD (confused) I never even saw you last night! WILLY (confused) But I saw you! You were walking your cat at 12:30! STEWARD (frantic) I don't even *have* a cat, and even if I did, I wouldn't go around walking a cat in the middle of the night! WILLY (scratching his head) Then who was I talking to? STEWARD (surprised) He was here?! WILLY Uh...who was here? STEWARD The guy you just talked to last night! WILLY Uh...isn't he you? STEWARD Look! That guy wasn't me, but he looked like me! WILLY (confused) Huh? Steward grabs him by the collar and starts shaking him. STEWARD (frantic) DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?!?! A guy who looks like me came here last night!!! WILLY (understanding) Oooohhhhh....now I get it. Is he related to you? STEWARD (sighing) I don't know. Well anyway, I'll see you around. WILLY See ya. Willy closes the door. That night, the thief is leaning against the wall of a fast food place. He seems to be thinking of something and grumbles to himself half the time. He just finished watching another drama movie and is now thinking up a plan. He idly tosses a baseball up and down in his hand. Suddenly, he moves his hand to his chin and the ball falls down to the floor. He rubs his chin slowly, and grins evilly. He snatches up the ball and heads off to the hospital. At the hospital, he idles around the hallways, swinging his tail from side to side. One of the security guards recognizes him and calls for back up. He then heads towards the thief. The thief, seeing that the mission was a success, decides it's a good time to vamoose. He runs off down the hallway, with the guard in pursuit. Soon more guards join in. He ducks into a patients room and when the guards rush inside, the only thing they saw were a bunch of beds, some patients and an orderly fixing up some beds. There was no sign of the thief. One of the guards goes up to the orderly. GUARD 1 Have you seen anyone come in here? ORDERLY Nope. GUARD 1 We saw a Toon come in here. ORDERLY Well if he did, I didn't see him. The guards search the room but they did not find anyone. They walk away, really confused. When they are gone, the orderly slips out of the room, only to bump into our heroes as they walk down the hallway. The orderly gulps. They look at each other. The orderly sideswipes and heads off down the hallway, nearly tripping on a bucket. They look at him as he stumbles. STEWARD There's something funny about that guy. The orderly disappears in the left corridor and then they hear running feet. They look at each other in surprise and start running after the so-called orderly. The orderly, noticing them chasing him, run faster and turn into another corridor, only to run into a big cart full of laundry supplies. The cart clatters to the floor and the orderly keeps on running. When our heroes turn the corner, Steward easily jumps over the cart. Ross trips right into it and falls to the ground. Her partner turns to her. STEWARD You okay? Ross rubs her leg. ROSS My leg hurts a little but I should be fine. You'll have to get that guy yourself. STEWARD But if you're hurt.... ROSS Just go! I'll be fine! He pauses for a moment, and then turns around and continues running after the thief. When he turns down two more hallways, he thought he lost him, but sees a white shirt go into the room leading downstairs into the boiler room. He didn't know if he was the guy he's supposed to catch, so he goes over to the boiler room door and pulls out his gun. He goes inside to see a small alcove to the right and a set of stairs leading downwards. He looks down the railing to the floor below to see no one. Meanwhile the thief, who now looks like his double and is lying on the ceiling, watches him. When the real one is about to go down the stairs, he falls down on top of him, sending them both falling down the stairs. 10 minutes later, Steward walks out of the boiler room, rubbing his face. Ross comes up beside him, limping slightly. ROSS What happened to you? STEWARD I followed him down to the boiler room, and then he came out of nowhere and attacked me. He gave me a good whacking. ROSS Is he still down there? STEWARD Nahh, I lost him. Let's get outta here. I'm hungry. 15 minutes later, they arrive at the station and go upstairs to their office. He pulls out his keys, a bit too many keys and wonders which one opens the office door. Ross points it out to him. He grins sheepishly. STEWARD Oh yeah, thanks! He slips the key into the keyhole and unlocks the door. He then heads in, followed by Ross. He turns on the light and flops down in his chair. He picks up a name plate and reads it. TOBIAS EDDIE STEWARD STEWARD (muttering) *groan* That's an even worse name than Mike! ROSS What did you say? STEWARD Uh, nothing. Nothing important, anyway. ROSS (raising an eyebrow) Okay, whatever you say. He puts the name plate back and pokes around in the drawers. He gets up and goes over to the filing cabinet. He wonders if their dossiers are in there, and they are, He slips out Ross' dossier and memorizes her home address. He quickly slips it back in when Ross turns to look at him. He grins at her. She looks at him for a moment and returns to what she was doing. After a few minutes later, Ross heads to the door. ROSS That's it. I'm heading home. Good night. STEWARD Okay, catch ya later. She heads out the door. After she's long gone, he checks out his dossier and scans through it. He is very much surprised at some points in the file. STEWARD GAHH! THIS GUY'S MARRIED!! KIDS TOO!! YUCK!!! He puts back the dossier and heads home to his 'house.' At Steward's house, he tries all of the keys to see which ones fit. When he does find out, he heads inside and looks around. CHRIS (calling from the kitchen) Toby? What are you doing home so early? STEWARD Uh...I had nothing else to do so I came home, and it's a good thing too, cause there's this guy who looks just like me wandering around here so I think you should go off on vacation while I go deal with him. Chris peeks out from the kitchen door. CHRIS Are you serious? STEWARD (nervous) Oh, absolutely. It might not be safe for you so I'll call you when it's time to come back. Go to a relative's house or something, and you're going first thing in the morning. CHRIS (pausing) Well, I guess I can do that...but I don't want you to get hurt. STEWARD (grinning) Hey relax, I can handle this by myself! You're just worrying yourself too much. Just then, Idge comes out of his bedroom and heads downstairs. IDGE (To Steward) Hey. Steward stops talking. This was the same kid who tackled him at the mall. Idge walks pass him to the kitchen without noticing anything out of the ordinary. He sighs in relief. CHRIS Well, if you think we should leave tomorrow morning, I better get the kids to pack. STEWARD Off course. The sooner the better. Idge pokes his head out of the kitchen. IDGE Leaving? Where are we going? CHRIS To Doug and Charlene's house. We'll be staying there until Toby catches that clone, or whatever he is. IDGE (To Steward) Awww, Toby, can't I stay with you? STEWARD NO! I mean, no. You don't know the first thing about police work. Besides, I already have a partner. IDGE (disappointed) Nuts..... The next day, he waves to them as everyone leaves. He then heads back inside the house, grinning to himself. That night, Ross had just finished dinner and is about to wash the dishes when the door bell rings in her apartment. She opens the door to see her partner standing in the doorway. ROSS (confused) Steward? What are you doing here? STEWARD (nervous) Oh, uh...I was thinking maybe I could uh, drive you down the station. ROSS (confused) Steward, it's still 2 hours away. What's the rush? STEWARD (really nervous) Oh, really? I guess my watch broke. Heh, heh...*gulp* ROSS Well I can guess you can come in. STEWARD Oh, thanks. He heads inside and she closes the door. He looks around in the nice apartment. ROSS I, uh, have to wash the dishes, so do something while I'm gone. She heads off to the kitchen. He continues looking around and sees a photo album with pictures of her when she was young. Bored, he closes it and heads on over to a framed desk photo with Steward and Ross celebrating their 1996 team of the year award. A German Shepherd dog sits right between them. He yawns and sits down on the couch. Two minutes later, she comes out and adjusts the photo album. ROSS Were you looking at this? STEWARD Well, a little...was I supposed to not look at it? ROSS No. There's nothing personal in it. STEWARD Oh. She goes over the end of the couch, grabs the remote control and turns on the TV. She then sits down on the other side of the couch from him. She flips through the channels. ROSS You know, what's the point of having TV if there's nothing interesting to watch? STEWARD Well, you can watch me... ROSS (looking at him) What did you say? STEWARD (nervous and talking fast) Nothing! Uh...nothing. I just said "you can watch 'Mad About You." Really. Ross looks at him for a moment, which makes him even more nervous. ROSS (cocking her head at him) You know, there's something funny about you today... STEWARD (really nervous) There is?! Um...what could that be? She slides closer to him. He slumps further back in his seat and gulps. ROSS (annoyed) Oh, come on! I'm not going to hurt you! She stops beside him and sniffs his fur. ROSS Yup! I thought so! You sorta smell bad. You need to take a bath. STEWARD (surprised) Bath?! Oh, right.... After a few moments of silence, he carefully slips his arm over her shoulder. Noticing something wrong, she gets off of the couch, walks to the TV, and turns around to look at him leaving him temporarily confused. There was something else wrong with him, she thought. If she didn't know any better, she'd say he was trying to get onto her. Was it her partner sitting on the couch right now, or the impostor? There must be a way to find out. He gets up. STEWARD (confused) What did I do? She ignores his questions and instead asks a question of her own. ROSS What's an okapi? He looks at her with a blank expression. STEWARD (confused) A what? ROSS An okapi. What is it? STEWARD (pausing for a bit) Well how should I know? I don't even know what that is! ROSS (raising an eyebrow) That's funny. I do recall you telling me what is was, four days ago. Or did you forget? Steward realizes he just made a grave error. He looks wide-eyed at her for a moment. Suddenly, he turns around, jumps over the couch and runs for the door. She whips out her gun and aims it at him. ROSS Don't move!! He unlocks the door and runs out into the hallway. She fires as he turns into a corridor. She sees him stumble when she fired, but he kept right on running as if he didn't get hurt at all. She could've sworn she got him. She chases after him and when she reaches the area where he supposedly stumbled, she could see no blood on the floor. Instead of taking the elevator, the fake Steward runs down the stairs to the main floor and runs out the door. She follows, but he had a big head start. Running as fast as he can, he runs over to the hospital we went to last night. He heads inside and runs off to the boiler room. He slips in and heads down the stairs. Meanwhile, a figure slowly opens his eyes and groans. The last thing he remembered was getting clobbered by a big blur and falling down the stairs. He lets his eyes get used to the darkness and sees he is in a small storage room somewhere. He rubs his head and staggers to his feet. Whoever did this to him caught him by surprise. He heads to the door and is about to open it when the door suddenly bursts open, catching him square in the face. He lies in a heap on the ground, too dizzy to talk or move. He did, however, open his right eye to see himself grabbing him by the collar, only to punch him in the face. He then is thrown to the floor, barely conscious. Ross runs in the room, to see him and the impostor. She looks at them both. STEWARD Hey, guess who I caught? ROSS (confused) How did you get here? STEWARD I got jumped yesterday and got thrown in here. When the other guy came running in here, I attacked him, and here he is. Case closed. Ross looks at him and the brutally injured Toon. Could he have done this in the small amount of time he had, before she came in here? She didn't know who to trust anymore. One of these was her real partner, but she didn't know which. She decided to take a test. She didn't want to do it, but she had no choice. She looks over to the injured one for a moment, and then kicks him square in the chest. He yelps in extreme pain and doubles over on the floor, whimpering and whining like a puppy dog. Before the other could do anything, she does the same thing to him with the same amount of force, sending him reeling back. He just says "Ow!" and looks at her in a confused way. STEWARD What did you do that for?! She looks at the whimpering Toon at then at him. ROSS (at the guy standing) Who are you? STEWARD Nuts..... He makes a break for it, but she tackles him and sends them both sprawling to the ground. He elbows her in the ribs and she lets go. He gets up and runs out the door. She runs after him, seeing him run out of the building and down the street. He mingles in with a crowd of Toons at the street corner and loses her. Unable to find him, she goes back to the hospital and down to the boiler room, where the real Steward curls up on the ground, whimpering. She puts a hand on his shoulder. ROSS Sorry partner, but I had to find out which one were you. He sniffles and lifts his head onto her lap, wanting to be petted. The next night, in his special recovery room, Steward is lying down on the bed, with Ross sitting down on a chair beside it. STEWARD (grinning) Did you really stay here all night and all morning for me? ROSS Off course. STEWARD Aren't you supposed to catch this guy? ROSS (serious) My partner comes first. STEWARD (talking to himself) I feel so loved. ROSS How are you feeling? STEWARD Better. Aside from a couple of bruises, I feel...better. ROSS That's good. STEWARD By the way, what did the guy do when he stuck me in that room? ROSS He came to my apartment. STEWARD How did you know he wasn't me? ROSS He made one mistake. He tried to get onto me. STEWARD (grinning) So that's it..... He turns to her. STEWARD When did my family come? ROSS (raising an eyebrow) They never came. STEWARD (confused) What? They always come! ROSS I didn't see hide or hair of them all day. STEWARD (in shock) That guy's at my house!! ROSS How do you know? STEWARD That guy's been in my house! He sent them packing! He gets up, but Ross pushes him down again. ROSS Not in that condition, you won't. I'll check it out. STEWARD (frantic) I *have* to go! Please! You might need some help. Later that night, the fake Steward is poking around in the master bedroom of the real Steward's house. THIEF There's *nothing* in here! VOICE (from off screen) Guess again. He whirls around to see Ross standing in the open doorway leading out to the hall. THIEF (surprised) How did you know I was here?! Just then, the real Steward appears in the doorway. STEWARD (serious) We think alike. THIEF (laughing) You can never catch me! STEWARD (mad) I don't know who you are, but you're beginning to *annoy* me! I don't care if you're my twin brother or not! THIEF (mad) I'm *not* your twin brother! STEWARD Then you are someone in disguise. Without thinking, he whips out his gun and shoots the impostor square in the chest. The thief rears back, but doesn't fall down. He thief looks at the hole that was created, and looks at the detectives. He starts laughing evilly as the hole slowly closes up. Steward gasps. All of this made sense now! The nearly impossible jump over the brick wall. The meeting with the orderly. The sudden appearance of him in the boiler room. Why there wasn't any blood when Ross shot him. That could only mean one thing. STEWARD (shocked) God, he's an A Toon! A Toons were the most crazy and unpredictable of the two species of Toons. They could do virtually any impossible thing, from walking up the walls and ceilings, pulling things out of nowhere, to defying the laws of gravity. The worst thing about it is that they can't get hurt. Now how was they supposed to catch a crook who could get healed whenever they got hurt, or could slip out of handcuffs? He never encountered anything like this before. The thief seems to read through his thoughts and laughs again, advancing towards them. They retreat down the hallway, not knowing how to handle this guy. The thief advances toward the Toon. Halfway in the hallway, he trips backwards and falls on his back. The thief stands over him. STEWARD Who *are* you? THIEF (grinning) Oh, you know me alright! The other look at him, confused. THIEF This might help. He reaches over to pull of his mask, to reveal a rabbit head with brown fur, a pink nose, two huge floppy ears, and 3 whiskers on each side of his face. The rabbit laughs evilly and talks in a semi high pitched voice. THIEF Do you know me now? Steward gasps in shock. STEWARD Davy?! DAVY (grinning) That's me!! He pulls off the rest of the costume to reveal his fluffy tail and two huge feet. Ross looks at each other in confusion. ROSS (surprised) You *know* this guy? DAVY Yes, why don't you tell her, Mike? Tell her how we met 20 years ago. STEWARD (talking to Ross but still looking at Davy) I met him when I was 6, after my parents abandoned me. He was part of Digger's gang. But he was a B Toon back then. DAVY (laughing evilly) I changed just like you did, but unlike yourself, I never changed back to an B Toon. Then I thought that if I can't die, I could become a crook and no one can catch me! Then I came here! STEWARD (confused) But why make my life miserable? DAVY (grinning) I have no idea, but I had fun, until you came along to ruin it! Now don't you wish you were an A Toon again? That way, you'd be able to survive... He stops talking and reaches behind his back to pull out a really big mallet from nowhere. DAVY (grinning) ...this!! He smashes the mallet down right between Steward's legs. He lifts the mallet again and laughs evilly. He gets ready to swing the mallet again, but this time, Steward rolls out of the way and the mallet smashes down in the spot he just left. DAVY (mad) Hey, stand still so I can pulverize you!! STEWARD Hey, is this how you treat old friends? DAVY (mad) I *never* liked you! You were standing in my way of leading the gang! Digger was a dunce! STEWARD But I left! DAVY And now I'm back!! STEWARD (mad) You never could become the leader, and you knew that! DAVY (mad) Now I'm *really* mad!!! He swings the mallet again, but this time aiming for Ross. Steward tackles her, the mallet landing one inch away from them. ROSS Some friends you used to go out with.... The mallet hits the wall right above their heads, sending plaster falling down. STEWARD (mad) You are psychotic, even for an A Toon! I never was *this* bad! DAVY (grinning) Hey, thanks! Ross suddenly gets an idea and runs past Davy and down the stairs without saying anything. DAVY (looking evil) HAHAHAHA! Looks like your partner just left you!! It's just you and me now!! He throws the mallet away and reaches behind his back again, to reveal a chain saw! DAVY (grinning evilly) It's too bad you're not an A Toon, or otherwise it wouldn't hurt one bit.... As he gets ready to swing the chain saw, Steward gets up and runs right into Davy, actually picking him up and running with him to the master bedroom window. They smash right through the window, out onto the roof. They roll right down the roof and land on the grass below, not far apart from each other. Steward lands face down on the soft grass, unmoving. Suddenly he groans and doesn't move in case it might hurt. He can see Davy not far from him, also unmoving. Soon, however, he starts twitching, and slowly gets up to his feet. He rubs off some glass off of him, and walks towards him as if he was never hurt. DAVY (grinning) Hey nice ride! Luckily for me I can't get hurt! Too bad for you though. Oh well. I might as well put you out of your misery. Steward's ears droop as Davy pulls out a sword out of nowhere. He is getting ready to swing it onto his head when his own head gets chopped off! The head falls to the ground without a trace of blood, and the body stumbles around aimlessly, looking for it. Behind the body is Ross, with an axe. The head, by the way, is still alive. DAVY'S HEAD (mad) Oh, curses! (starts laughing) Hah! You think that can stop me?! The body comes over and bends down to pick up his head, when Ross swings the axe and chops off an arm. She then chops off the other arm, and then both legs. She picks up the pieces and throws them far away from each other so the Toon can't reform back together again. DAVY'S HEAD Oh double curses! I didn't think you could defeat me but I'll be back! I'll be back!!!! Ross tapes his mouth so he can't talk again. DAVY'S HEAD HHGYGTGHDJHDH!!!! (translation) Oh triple curses!!!! Ross helps Steward to his feet. The first thing he says is.... STEWARD (grinning) Now why didn't I think of that? ROSS (concerned) Are you okay? STEWARD (shrugging) Oh sure, if you like crashing through windows only to fall onto the grass below...could you please call an ambulance? 20 minutes later, the ambulance and the police arrive. The officers stick each of the body parts into a different bag and haul him off to jail, where the pieces will reside at different places. STEWARD (grinning) I sure could use a vacation...in a hospital. His grinning fades. STEWARD *sigh* I really hoped he'd be my twin brother... ROSS Well I'd say good riddance. I'm sure you have lots more twin brothers, ones who are actually *nice.* He grins again. STEWARD You're right...as always. Two days later, Ross and Steward's whole family gather around his bed in the Waterloo General Hospital. IDGE (surprised) I can't believe he was right in the living room!! CHRIS He sure fooled me. I'm just glad you're back. Steward grins. STEWARD So am I. Everyone hugs him. STEWARD Hey! One at a time!! EVERYONE Sorry. STEWARD Now where's the food? I'm starved!! Everyone laughs. STEWARD (annoyed) Hey, I can't help it if I'm always hungry! Chris reaches down and kisses him on the cheek. CHRIS Don't ever change. Steward licks her on the neck. STEWARD Who me? Never! Now where's the food? I'm starved!! Everyone laughs. THE END.